this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
2054 points (99.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27174 readers
4155 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 89 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don't like avocados. I've literally never had avocado toast.

And somehow I'm not a millionaire.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 10 months ago

Have you tried getting a 10 million dollar loan from daddy?

[–] [email protected] 78 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Have you considered supplementing your income by committing massive fraud?

You need to start by making small changes to your daily habits, and build up to massive fraud. If you try to do it all at once the habit wont stick.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

I dont know about that. Small crimes get prosecuted. Big crimes? You just pay a fine that's less than what you made.

I'm thinking "big crimes" is probably better overall. Might as well just start there.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

Small crimes from small fish. You can only take money from people who have less than you, that's how the fraud system works. So you gotta ramp up your frauding slowly.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 53 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

How to be a millionare by 30:

  • ~~get 2 million as a gift from parents~~
  • Start a buisness in an untapped market
  • get investors
  • work all day every day
  • workout and meditate to keep you body and mind healthy
  • save as much as you can, no starbucks!
  • sell the buisness once it is valued over a million
  • use that money to start a new one
[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I have seen many adverts rich people make so heres a schedule:

Wake up at 4am

Get dressed 4-5

Go to gym 5-7

Get changed 7-8

Eat breakfast 8-8:30

Read newspaper 8:30-9

Work 9-12

Lunch 12-13

Hit the club 13-17

Dinner 17-18

Club again 18-?

Do these and you will be a billionare in no time. If you are an older gentleman replace the club with golf.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Sell business once it is valued over a million

-invest in GICs/Bonds on a 5 year maturation or high yield savings accounts (~5%)

-Every 5 years collect $275,000 on a $1M principle.

-Now you make average money and you don't even have a job.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You don't see the ultra rich getting fancy coffee from your local barista.

They pay assistants to do that for them.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

which is honestly fucking sad, you bet your ass i'd be buying the most expensive shit from the local coffee shop if i had a billion dollars

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

It's one coffee, Michael, how much can it cost? $100?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not only does the assistant buy the coffee. He also drinks it, and does all the work for the billionaire.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (18 children)

I go out for a chai latte sometimes and bring my daughter with me to get a smoothie. Fuck people who think everyone else should cut back on this shit. Just because you're not wealthy doesn't mean you don't deserve the occasional nice treat to make your life a little less dismal.

load more comments (18 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Important note in small script:
only applicable if you're a millionaire already

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Being a millionaire is just saving a portion of income for 30 years and you can easily hit a net worth of a few million dollars.

Being a billionaire requires some level of absurdly lucky success, fraud, exploitation, and rich parents.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (8 children)

That's setting aside $33,333/yr

That's not easy for most people

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Have you tried to have your parents buy you a house when you were 18 ? Many people forget to do this simple step. /s

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Funny enough I actually did get parental help to buy a house a couple years back. Just a bit extra on our down payment to ensure we got this house rather than 3 more months of hunting for a good deal, but help is help

And even with an expensive Californian house added to my net worth I'm not even halfway to a millionaire and wouldn't be able to save money to get there like was suggested. A million dollars is a fuck load

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Silly me, they only bought me a mansion. Guess I missed the boat if I'm past 18 now huh?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

yes, too late, I'm sorry I should have mansioned it.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Bring able to save a significant portion of your income more than the US poverty line for 30 years without some black swan life event happening to drain it also partly depends on being lucky or/and not having children. The median US household makes plenty to become millionaires for maintainkng a reasonable QoL if there aren't any such black swan events or children involved.

For my mom, it was a custody battle for children that initially wiped her life savings. She since has often worked 100 hours weeks at a job that pays above average for a blue collar job to make enough to back up to retire (plus happens to have worked at the same company long enough to get a pension, something they phased out for anyone less senior than her), but that's not something anyone should be expected to do be able to retire, so I'm not quick to judge people for not having accumulated money.

But a lot of people waste money on convenience in ways that definitely add up cumulatively over the decades. $5/day adds up to $150k after adjusting for inflation over 30 years. A $10/month subscription is $10k over 30 years. Reducing costs like that in a few places can cumulatively get you to at least theoretically being on track to be a millionaire.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The QoL aspect is extremely important though. If I can't have one $10/mo subscription... what's the point of being a millionaire in some hypothetical future if I spend my prime years depraved and depressed?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

All true. But this is on a linear scale. Worth noting that wealth aggregates exponentially. Which is to say, getting from $0 to $1M is far more difficult than getting from $1M to $2M, thanks to our financial system's method of compounding returns on investment over time.

The cost of one's basic living needs heavily weigh down one's ability to aggregate wealth when one is poor. But basic living costs are trivial to someone who is rich. Same with one's ability to leverage borrowing power. It is very easy to become a billionaire if you can get ahold of a billion dollars in credit. And much of the real value of modern billionaires is measured in their credit-worthiness rather than their real liquidity. Elon Musk is a great example - a guy whose billionaire status is almost entirely bound up in how his car company and his social media company and his aerospace company are valued.

The speculative valuation of these firms is driven by the availability of lending. That's why Tesla, a company that produces less than 1M vehicles/year is valued at twice the market cap of Toyota, a company that produces over 10M vehicles/year.

TL;DR; The millionaire/billionaire distinction isn't linear. It is exponential and heavily speculative. Real utility value isn't what gets measured. And so the distinction between a millionaire and a billionaire is far more about one's ability to borrow money than one's actual accumulated assets.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I'm currently a millionaire because at the time, it was cheaper to buy then it is to rent. There was a first-time homebuyer bonus also and we only needed 3.5% down. We figured if we just broke even when we wanted to move, it would have been worth it. This was back in 2009. Then, waited 10 years and I can't afford that condo that I bought with my income today.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’m in a weird situation where:

  • my house is double the value
  • my equity has tripled or quadrupled
  • yet my mortgage is bigger than the original purchase
  • and the payment is half, as a percentage of my monthly income.
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

What kind of mortgage did you get? Is it on a 15 year arm or something?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (4 children)

It's pretty useful to do little savings like that though

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Becoming a millionaire is surprisingly easy if you follow these steps:

  1. Make coffee at home
  2. Cut back on Avo toast
  3. Be born a millionaire
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (5 children)

If becoming a millionaire/billionaire is an actual goal for some people, no wonder this planet is fucked.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

You pretty much need to be a millionaire if you want to be a home owner in a lot of places, although the problem is the inflated market.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'd like to be a millionaire, but that is an method to achieve another goal, not the goal itself.

I'd like to vertically farm algae on an industrial scale as an atmospheric carbon sink, and additionally see if there is any way to do so profitably while remaining carbon negative. 1 million dollars would probably be enough to construct a small facility and hire the staff and experts I would need to figure this out.

"Millionare/billionaire" as an identity should be an insult.

Anybody with an industrial mindset will bare minimum want to take any large amount of liquid asset and turn it into production. Build and improve factories, fund research, improve living conditions near your operations. Having money acruing interest can be part of that, but should not be your primary revenue stream.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I mean...business school exists.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Or being born into the family of a former Plantation Owner.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Right, but if you stop buying coffee every single day, even a cheap cup, that's like $30-100 saved per month or $1200 or more in a year. That's not nothing. That dread you get around the holidays of "will I have enough money to buy presents?", well, now you can buy presents.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (9 children)

People seriously buy coffees every day? I like coffee, and I have enough disposable income to buy coffees often outside, but honestly never do it. Maybe it's because I grew up poor but it seems an awfully wastefuk habit. I have coffee at home before work, or in the office (free).

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

wastefuk

If that was a typo, let it retroactively not be. Wastefuk is a great word, especially how you used it, which I read as adjectivizing 'the habits of a Wastefuk.'

Don't be a wastefuk, everyone. Make your coffee at home. But not with k cups.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

For a sense of proportion, in a housing market where house prices go up 5% a year, a $200k house (which nowadays is cheap), goes up $10k in a year.

So that "trick" barelly slows down the rate at which you're getting further behind on your chance of getting your own place to live, even a cheap on in a moderatelly growing market.

Such barebones saving only works if you're really really close to being able to afford a house, otherwise you're just making your life a bit more miserable for no actual gain as the extra savings are just going to be sucked out in paying for just about anything where realestate costs have an impact (so, not just somthing quite directly affected like your rent, but also pretty much all products and services bought from stores and companies who rent their space).

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I don't drink coffee, I don't like avocado, and I don't buy random junk. What gives?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Have you tried supplementing your income with fraud?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Waiting for SBF to respond to this.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Can take a while

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

First off, I want my coffee first thing. So I make it at home so I don't have to be dressed and already up.

I don't think I have access or motivation for the amount of fraud that would make me rich in the short term. I'll keep my ears open, though.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Be like Logan Paul and make several different pump-and-dump schemes to scam a bunch of children all over the world.

But with the stock market.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Have you considered not eating? Cutting down on the breakfast, lunch and dinner could potentially save a lot of money.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Also, if you don't sleep and work three jobs, 24h a day, you'll certainly make much more money. It's the little things, really

load more comments
view more: next ›