Someone slashed some tires. The revolution has come for sure.

Based on their mystery novels and TV shows, everyone there is depressed and living in a stark, bleak landscape.

I'm thinking they want to discourage tourism.

Now that's commitment. At least it was done to me when I was a baby so I don't remember it.

Warning: You do have to cut off the tip of your penis.

Not necessarily... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Indira_Gandhi

Please. They're called beanies and some come with propellers.

(If I had a dollar for every time some idiot called a yarmulke a beanie...)

It's a wide beam.

As a Jew so Jewy that I moderate c/Jewish, I can tell you for a fact that I personally use the mind control setting on my space laser to make Nick Fuentes think about sucking cock all day.

That sounds like a very unusual form of synesthesia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia

One of the few, if only, mental "disorders" I wouldn't mind having.

That is seriously how my mother cooked when I was a kid. The dreaded words before dinner were, "this was an experiment."

And it was always shit like this. "Well, it called for four cups of sugar, but sugar is bad for you, so I substituted potato flour."

That's a longer sentence than many of the January 6th traitors.

How dare Green Day do the exact thing you would expect Green Day to do if you knew the first thing about Green Day!