this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 199 points 10 months ago (3 children)

A literal sexual demon, a monstrum incarnate, a narcotic parody of sex

Found my new Tinder bio

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago

Bro thought the birth of Slannesh was a real story.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

i want this on a t-shirt.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is that an Allen Ginsberg quote?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago

"Found my new Tinder bio"

-- Allen Ginsburg

 

It would certainly appear so.

[–] [email protected] 103 points 10 months ago

If you want to see a parody of sex, just go, Google search “soaking” and “jump humping”. Purity culture ends up in some weird places.

[–] [email protected] 80 points 10 months ago (2 children)

jesse

what the fuck are you talking about

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I assume you were trying to reply to me.

In some parts of christian purity culture, specifically for mormons allegedly, they think it's a big no no to have sex before marriage. They've come up with loopholes to avoid actually having sex but come as close to it as possible. Soaking is when you penetrate someone and just let it sit there with no movement. Allegedly on the BYU college campus, it is popular to go "soaking" while a friend of yours jumps on the bed nearby you to create the sensation of motion, this act is called "jump humping".

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I am unfortunately already cursed with the knowledge of that concept.

What do you think their plans are when they get to heaven? Do they think god will be chill with premarital sex due to a technicality? The ridiculous hubris of believing you can fucking debate a deity and win.

Also, I was doing a breaking bad pseudo-reference. Different jesse

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago

Yeah, whooshed for sure.

Frankly, I have no idea what the majority of modern American Evangelical style christians are going to do when and if they end up in front of their deity, because everything I've read and studied is pretty contrary to most of the modern Christian Political talking points. Jesus was very against the types of people christians today have become, Jesus certainly wouldn't have advocated for taking over Rome to become the new oppressors. These same folks believe the book of revelations is going to happen but they can't fathom being a part of the body of the great whore of babylon.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Okay so I grew up, immersed, in Christian purity culture...

Soaking is tantric, but the friend jumping?! These Christians actually make themselves way hornier than the average person... I remember my first Christian gf thought it was a sin to be made to cum, so she would just have me edge her for like hours at a time until she spontaneously orgasmed with no stimulation. Was actually hot af and some of this stuff I carried on to more normal relationships.

Christian girls also hated the idea of me masturbating after they got me aroused so they would weirdly do whatever it took to get me off, as long as it wasn't PIV it was basically fair game. I got used to these really weird/kinky workarounds they'd come up with and it probably made me a deviant. Once at Jesus Camp a girl wanted me to finger her under the blankets at campfire and she came while a dude was crying at the mic giving his emotional testimony. So many fucked up stories like this.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

It’s a breaking bad reference/meme

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

The public projections of a guy who sucks dick to feed his private addictions.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Does anybody know where these literal sexual demons are?
Because I want to avoid those places extra hard.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

Extra hard, eh? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more!

[–] [email protected] 53 points 10 months ago

That's a whole lotta words just to say "Nobody wants to have sex with me."

[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago

These assholes sure spend a lot of time thinking about trans people.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago

This is certainly one of the most comments of all time

[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Laughs in sober asexual transexual

🤣 😂 🤣

I mean it's funny how little these peoole understand the issues they are so passionate to talk about.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Technically the truth for 2022 Twitter.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If marijuana made people trans we’d have Wilhelmina Nelson

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Have you seen her hair? She's just in denial

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Some of them were.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago

This guy is channeling the writer of Reefer Madness.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds like a good time.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Had me at "marijuanification"

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

This got me wet

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

Honestly, he makes this transgender thing sound metal as hell and now I kinda wanna try it. So do you freebase it or what?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Frysquint.gif

Can’t tell if serious or parody…

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

unfortunately, it is serious

i made the mistake of going on the posters account

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I was queer long before I ever tried pot. Disney's Robin Hood is what done it for me. Stupid, sexy, animated fox...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

I think this person has been on way too many drugs (ones much harder than weed).

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

Somebody found a thesaurus

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

tag yourself im the monstrum

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I'm the marijuanification of the human libido

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

This sounds metal af

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Damn I guess it is time to pack another bowl!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

a "monstrum" is a "warning" - so a warning incarnate would be, what, the super nanny?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

This mf straight from 1950

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Wow, that's a lot of words. Too bad they don't make any sense.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Successfully getting ingroup and outgroup to respond "oh, sick!"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

So that's what that was

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

He's got it all wrong, the quantum fluctuations in the flux capacitor prove with 99.84859% certainty that time crystals oscillate at a resonant frequency of the speed of light with hydrogen chloride. It's quite simple, really, I can't believe he's so wrong.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago
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