My own mother encourages me to beat my kids, just like she did to me. And the bitch wonders why I don't answer her phone calls.

Who gives a shit

Ell eye em pee Bizkit is right here.

record scratch

Make sure you swallow them when you're done chewing.

Keep working at it and I know you can be a bigholder some day, champ.

I understand the joke and I agree with the sentiment, but it drives me fucking insane when people put the dollar symbol after the dollar amount.

Diddlin' Daddy never goes out of style.

I didn't know Bungie had a patent on space and triangles.

I'm from a long line of PBR myself.

After I had kids I found Satanism and became a communist. I have no idea what your friends are doing but they're doing it wrong.

Hail Satan.