I'm chinese but any transasian folks make me smile tbh... Also chopsticks are easier tbh, westerners cannot utensils. /silly
Personally the only thing that keeps me from staring at people is my fear of nipples... I'm not even attracted to naked people but my brain is like "LOOK. YOU GOTTA LOOK."
First off, I love crocs so I'm giving love to this! I personally am I mostly sex-repulsed Ace (I am not opposed to performing acts, only recieving), and I don't experience physical stimulation the way most people do anyways. (I feel a buzzing, stinging sensation in my hands from certain thoughts, not much else). With that, my autozoophilia is mostly affected from me being a therian, where I'm not comfortable with the memories always, but they still appear with the same "feelings" they did when I was a snow leapord and polar bear, and the feelng is odd! It also makes me feel a draw to other polar bears and snow leapords, but something my human body is opposed to engaging in, and is confused by. I know this was a lot about me, so, to be clear: Do you think it could have this sort of 'animal self' versus 'human self' disconnect? These things can make the experience hard to tell, so trying to mind map how you feel about certain prompts and other things could also help. (Mind maps were the best tool in my therapy so I do reccommend them.)
I don't even know if I'd label myself a MAP, since it's sort of like, an exception almost. Not something I ever think about for the most part, but my one "partner" (not sure what else to call her) is intra age 14 (We are similar in terms of chrono). It doesn't effect my attraction to her much, but considering I do see her as such, I suppose I could be a MAP. It's not something I think about too much, but, it's there in a way.
Yes, they're permanent. In the sense that I don't 'grow' older, but sometimes I have a mental shift to being moreso 32 (still 47 just less so) or similar. My body is almost 18 (2 days, oh boy) but I am in no way 18, nor will I ever be, mentally/internally at least. I couldn't comprehend anything in the realm of trying to imagine myself as younger. Maybe older in the sense of an infinite existence as a deity, but in this body and this physical brain, I feel 47, with a dash of 32 and 53.
Well, I didn't pick mine, which probably has something to do with it. My main age is 47, this is sort of how I feel by default, and I just sort of know it's right. It hit me, this exact number, after giving it to a character who I realized I was subconsciously representing myself through: He was me. Now, my other age, 32, has to do with the internal timeline we experience as a system, and if I remember my childhood with these memories, it happens through being 32 usually, like a proxy. As for 53 it's just because my Grandpa talked about his life at 53 and it hit me, that number fit as well. None of these would feel right if they were changed by a year, 48 is not my age, nor is 31, and certainly not 54. I just know it, I feel it like any other part of my identity, plain and simple to my own mind.
pass... somebody gotta post the little ristar fugger so I have something to say smash to.
That is the most vague dogwhistle I have ever heard... Like I feel like that's a common phrase outside of MAP or Radqueer??? Or am I tripping myself out?
I love this story. Thank you for sharing. I don't know if this means anything, but around 13/14, I was pretty active in MAP circles, and while I felt safe and respected, adults in my real circle were entirely heartless in their response. I was a stupid child to them after it and they forced me into isolation from practically everyone! When I read peoples stories about realizing their love wasn't wrong, I just wish people understood that, so I wouldn't have ended up alone. You're so very valid, and I know your openness is really important and valuable. You're loved.
they hate to see a fashionista winning
You can accept it and still struggle. Acceptance is a loopy roller coaster process just like any self-improvement or healing process. You're incredibly valid and I hope time helps you grow to accept yourself as such. (Much love <3)
Be careful about the monolid surgeries. Not to be the bummer in the comments but I've heard too many stories (not just monolid but any eyelid related surgeries) resulting in just, endless issues (scariest on is swollen eyelids they freak me out). Maybe I'm projecting my fear, I hope the surgeries get safer especially for this stuff.