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For minor and youth attracted people, adult attracted minors and youth, and everyone in between.

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When and how did you find out that you were a MAP? Here is my story... (burggit.moe)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I think I was around 14 or 15 when I started discovering this side of my sexuality. I don't remember exactly how it happened, so it was either one of two things:

I first started noticing that I was still attracted to kids a lot younger than me, which prompted me to look for loli/shota porn, and then I went on to look for 🍕...

Or if I first started getting into loli/shota, which made me realize I was also attracted to kids and then I went looking for 🍕.

At any rate, I was always good with computers so I quickly figured out how to access darknet forums around that age. At first I wasn't even sure if I was a MAP or not and felt guilty about accessing these forums, and I had this idea that I would seek professional help to "not hurt any kids".

A lot has changed since then and I've become much more comfortable with my sexuality. Thinking back to when I was younger, this pretty much echoed how I felt about being bi - going from denial and thinking that I should go through conversion therapy to being out and proud. (Well, I'm not out about being a MAP, though I am proud.)

Now the only thing I'm struggling with is trying to figure out if I'm also zoosexual or just a confused furry lol. Though because now I'm a lot more comfortable with expressing and exploring my sexuality I don't feel guilty about this possibility, and I'm more willing to accept myself if I am indeed a zoo - though even if I'm not I think the struggles of MAPs and zoos are very similar so I'll definitely still remain an ally.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I think I was 13 or 14. As I mentioned in my post, it was the same time i started to feel (romantic) attraction.

The "how" is that I fantasized about young girls, despite my age. That and I liked loli

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I don't even know if I'd label myself a MAP, since it's sort of like, an exception almost. Not something I ever think about for the most part, but my one "partner" (not sure what else to call her) is intra age 14 (We are similar in terms of chrono). It doesn't effect my attraction to her much, but considering I do see her as such, I suppose I could be a MAP. It's not something I think about too much, but, it's there in a way.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I was 12, I think, maybe 13. I don't know if I should name it, but I discovered a naturism pictures newsgroup. Not porn, but close enough. I thought for a long time it was purely physical attraction — school really soured me on children, and I had little exposure to them besides TV for a long time. It's just in the last year or so that people on fedi and my brother's kids helped me get past that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Can't remember where I have and haven't told this story yet, so here goes again I suppose.

The topic of attraction is quite vagued for me, because of trauma I have a mind-body disconnection. Which means my expression of sexual and aesthetic attraction is through fantasies and passive admiration only.

Anyway, I remember showing interest in sex quite young (10-ish). I started to write and draw porn, and I would also try to look for it online. That's where the fantasizing started too. I'd come up with elaborate plots and abusive intimate scenarios. All of these metaphysical people would just pop in my head and they'd have whole lives. They were attracted to each other. These people were of all ages, kids, teens, adults, middle aged adults, elderly. They weren't always fabricated, sometimes I'd use real people or fictional characters, but as my own 'headcanons'.

Of course since I exist on this spinning orb and therefor parttake in the passage of time against my will, I started aging, and I started hearing hateful things towards pedophiles. I tried really hard to make my fantasies 'age appropriate', but I just realized that I was missing the inclusion of youth. Sexual thoughts of children arouse me, depictions of children are attractive to me, and the MAP community accepts me. So even though I don't personally wanna date children, I am proud to call myself a MAP!