MAP

Mapfetishism and mapkink flags.

Mapfetishism is an attraction to objects, associated with children, and children's body parts that's not necessarily followed by an attraction to children themselves.

Mapkink is the same, but with actions.

This is a continuation of zoofetishism I previously talked about (on nnia.space), and such terms as mapsadism.

Not to be interpreted as fetish/kink centered around maps as the subject.

Mapfetishism:

Mapkink:

I think I was around 14 or 15 when I started discovering this side of my sexuality. I don't remember exactly how it happened, so it was either one of two things:

I first started noticing that I was still attracted to kids a lot younger than me, which prompted me to look for loli/shota porn, and then I went on to look for 🍕...

Or if I first started getting into loli/shota, which made me realize I was also attracted to kids and then I went looking for 🍕.

At any rate, I was always good with computers so I quickly figured out how to access darknet forums around that age. At first I wasn't even sure if I was a MAP or not and felt guilty about accessing these forums, and I had this idea that I would seek professional help to "not hurt any kids".

A lot has changed since then and I've become much more comfortable with my sexuality. Thinking back to when I was younger, this pretty much echoed how I felt about being bi - going from denial and thinking that I should go through conversion therapy to being out and proud. (Well, I'm not out about being a MAP, though I am proud.)

Now the only thing I'm struggling with is trying to figure out if I'm also zoosexual or just a confused furry lol. Though because now I'm a lot more comfortable with expressing and exploring my sexuality I don't feel guilty about this possibility, and I'm more willing to accept myself if I am indeed a zoo - though even if I'm not I think the struggles of MAPs and zoos are very similar so I'll definitely still remain an ally.

I have a set of links I carry from place to place and post when relevant.

Mental health:

• MAP Resources contains information on where to look for mental health support for many problems, directly or indirectly related to your orientation, as well as guides and inforgraphics.
• Pedofur also has a list of mental health organizations and has non-clearnet mirrors you can link to people who are afraid of being tracked.

Social:

• NNIA Space is a mastodon instance for paraphiliacs and allies, it's a site I run.
• Freak University is our sister instance in many ways.

Discourse:

• Minor-attracted-person Rentry is an introduction to the basics of being a myap and minor/youth attraction. It is backed up on Wayback Machine and Archive Today in case of deletion.
• Common misconceptions about maps is my old collection of evidence why some things people associate with myaps are wrong. I also adapted it for a Carrd, now available on Wayback Machine, and it's a little easier to engage with.

General:

• MAP Wiki is a wiki of relevant terms and other things.

Something I've talked about in the past that I wanted an excuse to bring up again is my discomfort in locker rooms. And what better excuse than to have a whole new website to post it on?

Trans people are familiar with how locker rooms with your AGAB can be uncomfortable. That's not what I'm talking about, but locker rooms to me, an MtF GL MAP, are very much a double edged sword.

It's either be with a ton of people of your AGAB (which is awful when you're like me and pass as female and are going into a locker room to get into a bikini), or be with a ton of people that you find attractive. And none are preferable especially when you're bi.

Women's locker rooms make me extremely uncomfortable. Of course being a trans woman I'm scared someone will clock me and harass me for being a creep (which I'm not), but it makes it even more uncomfortable when you have an attraction to women. I'd never in my life sneak into a locker room to get a glimpse of people naked; that's vile, but there are some circumstances where it's harder to keep my head down, especially when keeping my head up is just plain natural. But I know what I'd do if I didn't.

When I went swimming with my gf and bff at the time, sometime last year, I went to the women's locker room myself because my gf used the men's ones. I kept my head down to try and not be noticed as I changed out of my street clothes and into my two piece as fast as I could. But the whole time I could hear people in the locker room. I kept my head down so I couldn't see what they looked like or where they were, but they were families.

It's easy to not look at other women in the locker room. If I wanna see naked women I can just open Google.

But the girls?

It's not quite as accessible, legal, or (depending on circumstances) morally good to do the same with girls.

So when I'm in a locker room and I hear the chatter, the intrusive thoughts going through my mind are unbearable: "just sneak a peak, no one will see", "you've never seen a naked girl before, might as well start now", "other women are seeing them naked, no reason why you can't".

I don't consider myself a pedo with "urges". But the desire to look up and sneak a glance in these scenarios is so unbelievably tempting.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

I ended up talking with my bff and gf about it, but I just told them I didn't wanna be perceived as a pedo because I'm visibly trans and there's a lot of stigma and conspiracies against trans women. But what I didn't tell them was that I was also uncomfortable because I am a pedo.

When I was around 13 or 14 years old I had my first real crush. She was a girl in my class, same age as me. I crushed on her for years before saying anything, but she wasn't into me, so we just stayed friends. And I continued to be her friend for years because she's a great person.

She ghosted me when I came out as a MAP.

Around the same time, 13 or 14 or so, I started to realize I was attracted to younger people too. When I was around 11 I started to look at porn and become interested in sex, and around the time I started to gain crushes was when I started to fantasize about girls as young as 6.

As I got older I started looking at lolicon and shotacon art, wondering if it made me a pedophile to enjoy it. Temptation crossed my mind for years about searching other material, but I never gave in.

I was a teacher for a private company at 17. I taught kids aged 6-14. A couple of my students I had occasional intrusive sexual thoughts about. I didn't think they were wrong, but I thought they were innapropriate given our teacher-student relationship. I think I thought about a 12 year old and an 11 year old or something.

The 12 year old was my favorite student. To this day I don't know if I had feelings for her or not, but she was special. I loved her. She made me a house in Minecraft, I always helped her with her work. I like to think we had a special relationship. Not to mention she was gorgeous, just immensely cute, and had a great loveable personality. Eventually I stopped working there for unrelated reasons.

For years I had thoughts about whether or not I was a pedophile, and what did or didn't make me a map. When I was young I had my own thoughts about those with attractions to kids. I didn't see anything wrong with it. Didn't see anything wrong with pride. But as I got older the world told me to hate these people, these people that I thought I belonged to, but I feared being ostracized by my peers for not agreeing with them, so I started to follow their opinions blindly.

When Turning Red by Pixar came out I noticed that I was erotically attracted to the main character Mei-Lin. The way society conditioned me I thought this was wrong, so I finally, after years of keeping my pedophilic thoughts to myself, looked online for pedo resources.

Last year I found my way to VirPed, otherwise known as Virtuous Pedophiles. An online community for anti-contact individuals. I met other peds here and quickly learned that my attraction wasn't something to be ashamed of. It didn't make me a monster, and it was normal. I learned that there was nothing wrong with attraction--my original opinion about pedophilia, that society changed my mind on. I learned that MAP wasn't some evil word, it was an umbrella term meant to encompass different chronophilias. I didn't even know before that there was more than just pedophilia. I started to identify as a hebephile because I thought I was only attracted to girls who'd started puberty.

I quickly undid the damage that society did to me, and then I found Visions of Alice through the mention of someone on VirPed. It was here that I was exposed to the pro-contact contact stance. I didn't agree with it, but I didn't want to discriminate against it. I talked to lots of pro-cs and head their opinions and views, and eventually the thought crossed my mind "why is love wrong if both people want it?" So I started to identify as contact-neutral.

Eventually I found my way to MAP Merch Shop. I was experienced in graphic design, so I hit up the owner Katie Cruz because I was interested in joining.

We did an interview over voice chat, and that was the first time I ever heard someone talk to me about being a pedophile, and that was a the first time I could actually talk about being a hebephile.

I joined and she introduced me to Matrix/Element. She joined me to her MMS Group Chat and I met other members of the community. It was there that they introduced me to the pediverse and Freak University.

I signed up and got rejected, so I reapplied and Katie put in a good word for me to get me let in.

I was surprised to see so many open pedophiles. People talking about their attractions to children--people like me.

Somehow I quickly gained a reputation, within a month I went from 0 followers and being unknown to having 450 people watching when I posted. I posted jokes, anecdotes, opinions, and, most importantly, my current experiences with girllove.

In mid June I met a girl at my apartment complex. I posted about her a lot because I had a crush on her. But the weird thing? She was 8, which was way below my AoA of 12+, and she certainly hadn't started puberty. But she was attractive. She made me nervous, I thought about her everyday, I envisioned what we'd do together--she was just like any crush to me, only instead of an adult, she was a kid. But does that really make a difference? She was a person. What should age have to do with love?

Eventually shit happened. I sound like a broken record at this point with the amount of times I incessantly talk about the chain of events that led me to where I am today.

It's crazy what all happened, and how fast it happened, but what's even crazier is that these loves that I had, something that felt so normal to me, is discriminated against by our society. And this society doesn't just hurt us childlovers, but the ones we love too. Pedos don't want to hurt kids, but forcing kids away from them and filling their heads with lies about how close they come to being raped and abused by us causes way more trauma than true love ever could.

I've been in this community for less than a year, and I'm excited to see what the next one brings.

• https://www.newgon.net/wiki/Main_Page

• https://www.boywiki.org/en/Main_Page

• https://clresearchblog.wordpress.com/

• https://solresearch.org/

• https://heretictoc.com

So apparently "meet/find likeminded people" is a covert phrase people use to find others to trade and distribute CSAM/CSEM to, as in stuff that fails the DOST test. Undercover feds may use it as well.

This is kind of embarassing to admit, but I have used that phrase before, unbeknowst of its connotation. I feel torn about it, because I liked using it. For me it was a way to say "I'm looking for fellow accepting freaks with similar humour, values, etc." I guess being more specific is more beneficial anyway.

So yea, be careful!

When I was a teenager I imagined I had a partner who was a dentist. Which implies that they were an adult. I also was always attracted to adults. When I was younger I was attracted to other people my age too, but as an adult I’m exclusively attracted to adults. I’m not sure if I would have had a relationship with an adult or not (if it was legal and accepted and stuff) which is why I’m unsure if I was an aam.

How does it look? :3c

Posting this because some of y'all have had problems uploading images and i'm seeing if this works

Hi, I'm Yuki I work with Arisu on a transid wiki (transid.org). I made some anti MAP comments when I was new to the community. I bought all the antiMAP propaganda I had heard growing up. I have now heard mumbling that in the 70's MAPs were there, maybe one of them threw the first brick at Stonewall. Who the hell knows for sure. Just like how that brick throwing has been retold so many times I think the MAP story has been erased. Why did homosexual used to also mean MAP?

I don't want there to be a fucking radradqueer movement and transid2 (transid3 if you count transx) for everyone to be accepted. Just as the gays threw away the transgender people at some point. Well now the acronym commonly is at minimum lgbT unless someone is very bigoted. I think it is time MAPS got some rights. It feels like a witch hunt. You all should be able to talk about your orientation. I'm not going to get into contact stuff other than to say I'm not going to force a contact stance on anyone. The only thing I will say is I don't want to risk that wiki going down so stuff needs to be legal under US law. I'm not a lawyer I have no idea what Arisu was talking about Nevada law and some test. The rules on the wiki might be the same there I need to learn what the hell that means.

Also spending a lot of time with a chrono teenager and both being affectionate has been really nice lately :). We keep making maps in a game to explore, they were the one eager to show me the date spots they made in game. Talking to my friends and that teen, I admire, made me no longer afraid of the map community and less afraid of myself.

Again I'm sorry. No one should be denied rights something that is a part of them, their identity.

Love them so much.