Enigma

I saw a comment somewhere where someone mentioned an interest for it. I'd be willing to create it, but since I wouldn't be making it for personal reasons, I need to have some confirmation that there's more interest for it!

Somebody stole chopsticks for me once.

Uncategorized: My Mindscape, abandoned places, creepypastas, "Glitch in the Matrix", Junji Ito's horror manga, the Saw movies, liminal spaces, aliens, skeletons, nostalgia, anemoia, beaded door curtains, forests, cursed images, alt fashion, extracted teeth, plague masks, colour palettes, puns, toilets with threatening auras, odd aesthetics, Synesthesia, geography, science, psychology, linguistics, Pokéfusions, unreality, surreality, dark rabbit holes.

Tv Shows: Alice in Borderland, Degrassi, Avatar the Last Airbender, Code Lyoko, Oban Star Racers, As Told by Ginger, Star Trek, Rick and Morty, Girl from Nowhere, All of us are Dead, Moomin, Black Mirror, Galactic Football, Tintin, LOST, X-Files.

Games: E.B.O.N.Y. riddle game, Submachine, Myst, Dreamfall, Minecraft, Planet Crafter, Powerwash Simulator, Yume Nikki, Ib, Sally Face, Detroit Become Human, Fez, Super MArio, Little Alchemy, Can of Wormholes, Paquette Down the Bunburrows, logic puzzles, word games, Jetpunk Quizzes, dress-up games.

Music: L'arc en Ciel - Honey, Alizée - Moi Lolita, Marina and the Diamonds - Bubblegum Bitch, Aurora - A Temporary High, MUCC - Ieji, Bangles - Be With You, Molina - Hey Kids, Sohodolls - Bang Bang Bang Bang, Bocce - Haunting You.

[The image is a screenshot of the movie Beauty and the Beast, with beast in frame looking intimidating.]

The journey of discovering my Orientation has been hectic and unprecedented.

Discovered Components;

• Queerness
• Aromanticism and Romance-Repulsion
• Paraphilia
• Abnormal Sexuality
• Neurosexuality - in particular plurality, trauma, and schizospectrum affect sexuality
• Aesthetic Attraction
• Invidious Attraction
• Relationship Anarchy
• Non-Monogamy
• Aplatonicism and Neuroplatonicism - in particular autism and trauma affect friendship capabilities
• Afamiliality

What all of that concludes to is that my sexual attraction is non-linear. Due to trauma I am detached from my body, and developed internally plural instead. I feel no strong connection to my body or reality, therefor no desire to engage in sexual acts through it. My way of experiencing and exploring sexuality happens internally, in what I call Mindscape. The reason I reject Asexual labels is because my internal experience feels more real and authentic than my external experience. I do consider the possibility that I might be in an Asexual body with low libido. In disorienting juxtaposition, internally I am extremely hypersexual.

When it comes to making friendships, I do have interest hypothetically, but don't posess much social battery, basically no prior attraction, and an extremely long grace period before I develop a deep connection. With potential friendship contenders, I prefer to remain in a limbo of being friendly strangers until I am comfortable upgrading our connection.

When it comes to any potential future relationships, I do have interest hypothetically. I do not know what this would look like physically, but I do know that I would require the aforementioned friendship upgrade first. My primary love language is quality time, I am not a very affectionate or loving being. I seek mental, spiritual, and creative stimulation, as well as compatible humour, values, interests, and life style.

So apparently "meet/find likeminded people" is a covert phrase people use to find others to trade and distribute CSAM/CSEM to, as in stuff that fails the DOST test. Undercover feds may use it as well.

This is kind of embarassing to admit, but I have used that phrase before, unbeknowst of its connotation. I feel torn about it, because I liked using it. For me it was a way to say "I'm looking for fellow accepting freaks with similar humour, values, etc." I guess being more specific is more beneficial anyway.

So yea, be careful!

[Image is a close-up of a red crewmate from the popular game Among Us.]

It's a mix of general autistic things, and things I personally do as a cis-autistic. Autism presents very broadly so you'll have to navigate what works for you! Feel free to suggest more in the comments.

• Develop a special interest and learn a lot about it! Tell everyone about it!
• Use obscurer words in your every day vocab. Examples; greetings, mayhaps, overmorrow, variegate, betwixt, whence.
• Stim! Examples; echolalia, repetitive movements, stim toys, music.
• Interpret things literally, especially when it's coming from a stranger.
• Plan everything!
• Develop a more monotonous voice and/or flat/blunted affect.
• Accentuate your quirks!

Other common traits of autism are sensory/processing issues, meltdowns, and social clashing.

I don't feel apart of the concept of race, nationality, or ethnicity, but I feel nostalgia and wanderlust towards Japan. I find the language very beautiful as well. Trans-Japanese (linguistically) might fit me.

Even if I might not fully grasp every identity, trying to dictate other's experiences for them feels bad.

There was a time where I was in an autism Discord server, and they randomly decided to ban transautistics from being in the server. Especially back then, I didn't really know what that was, but it felt wrong. Like there was a bad taste in my mouth. The taste was new yet familiar.

It would be very easy to shrug it off and pretend it doesn't affect me, but as a cis-paraphile I know what it's like to be ostracized and no matter how much bullying I've gone through, I will never let myself stand on the other side. Making others miserable does not feel pleasant. I want to be the accepting and gentle ally that I never had.

As is described to me by those who have this, Ticker-tape Synesthesia is like having build-in subtitles. Some even see different fonts for different voices.

Most comprehensive resource for Synesthesia: https://www.thesynesthesiatree.com/

Fun fact: Most Grapheme-Colour Synesthetes have red A's!