Relationship/Orientations

I saw more aplatonic hate today, and while I discussed it on my tumblr, I want to talk more about it.

The supposed invalidity comes from the same place of people who think 'sexuality' is a synonym for 'physical attraction' or use it interchangeably with 'orientation' in just a general sense. However, the proper definition has nothing to do with general orientation (or even genitalia, for that matter, sorry superstraights). It is quite literally just a specific desire for sex, with a target of attraction: "I would like to have sex with this."

With this it becomes pretty clear Online Exclus Queers have oversimplified attraction. Which, on another note, this sort of stuff is awfully detrimental to friendships as they are portrayed as 'lesser' relationships... There are so many forms of attraction, and while many of them are labeled with useless rigid rules placed on them... Some people will not experience them all.

There is no attraction that is more fulfilling in every circumstance. Some people will not experience or enjoy some kinds of bonds or relationships. These things do not take away from their value or their ability to enjoy life.

Now, for a personal note, friendship is draining for me. I am an extremely physical person. Physical affection with partners has been the refill of my battery, the strength of my bonds. And so often it's seen as shallow of me, and I'm tired of that. I cannot express how draining and unfulfilling the concepts of or attempts at friendship have been for me. Once I really do feel a bond, it's usually somewhere in the realm of domestic, sensual, and mental attraction. I desire to give my services and help to those I adore. With this, I'm romance favorable in my Aromantic orientation, since these behaviors are often very close, and I do like to be affectionate. I find time spent watching movies in the same room pointless and unfulfilling, I'd much rather build an entire giant cat bed for a partner and gift it to them than just SIT. My physical gifts and physical affection are my love more than my time or compliments. Friends are just another level of draining, worse than respectful socializing in general for me. Partners and chosen family are ALL I want. ( I love my wifey and my son Lucas. Shoutout to Lucas.)

With that, I don't understand how others are just, expected to have these attractions like most of society has normalized them to work and exist. "You have to want friends, You have to have familial bonds, If you don't want sex with your partner you're depriving them."

It's gross.

I'd like to shoutout my AroAce Hypersensual self, and give a biggggg middle finger to aplatonic haters.

Does/can F/O also apply to (imagined/fictional) relationships with factual sources? Whether just regular people you know/know of, or celebrities. If not, is there a word like it for this kind of (sometimes parasocial) relationship? Either way, I have... a few :')

The journey of discovering my Orientation has been hectic and unprecedented.

Discovered Components;

• Queerness
• Aromanticism and Romance-Repulsion
• Paraphilia
• Abnormal Sexuality
• Neurosexuality - in particular plurality, trauma, and schizospectrum affect sexuality
• Aesthetic Attraction
• Invidious Attraction
• Relationship Anarchy
• Non-Monogamy
• Aplatonicism and Neuroplatonicism - in particular autism and trauma affect friendship capabilities
• Afamiliality

What all of that concludes to is that my sexual attraction is non-linear. Due to trauma I am detached from my body, and developed internally plural instead. I feel no strong connection to my body or reality, therefor no desire to engage in sexual acts through it. My way of experiencing and exploring sexuality happens internally, in what I call Mindscape. The reason I reject Asexual labels is because my internal experience feels more real and authentic than my external experience. I do consider the possibility that I might be in an Asexual body with low libido. In disorienting juxtaposition, internally I am extremely hypersexual.

When it comes to making friendships, I do have interest hypothetically, but don't posess much social battery, basically no prior attraction, and an extremely long grace period before I develop a deep connection. With potential friendship contenders, I prefer to remain in a limbo of being friendly strangers until I am comfortable upgrading our connection.

When it comes to any potential future relationships, I do have interest hypothetically. I do not know what this would look like physically, but I do know that I would require the aforementioned friendship upgrade first. My primary love language is quality time, I am not a very affectionate or loving being. I seek mental, spiritual, and creative stimulation, as well as compatible humour, values, interests, and life style.

I'm going to try and re-save them as jpegs, but I currently can't add a banner or icon for this group?? Tragic.

Look at me, on a roll. I'd like to kick this off by validating ALL of you for whatever or whoever you love. And I mean it when i say ALL of you. Anywho, welcome. Gush about whoever or whatever, or complain about the alloromantic norms of society (I feel you). This is a place for all sorts'a relationships and orientations. <3 Love!!!