this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

yeah but skeletons aren't usually animate. the only way for a skeleton to be able to move without a meat suit attached to it is if it's powered by magic. and who knows what the magic can make it do

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Even if it wasn't heavier, bones are still harder than flesh. If a skeleton punched you, it would hurt way more than a fleshy padded fist.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

Punches mostly hurt because of the mass of the fist and arm. If you've ever been punched by a kid you probably weren't hurt. A skeleton weighs less than a 6-year-old, so there wouldn't be much mass behind the punch.

But, then again, magic.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Uhhm, how much flesh is there on your knuckles? A few millimeters of skin aren't dampening a punch

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes, but if the skeleton is capable of fighting me, who's to say what kind of magic or superpowers it has? I mean, a fighting skeleton still seems like it could be anyone's guess as to who's going to win...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

https://5thsrd.org/gamemaster_rules/monsters/skeleton/

In D&D rules they're only 1/4 cr monsters so one level 1 adventurer could in theory take them on 1v1 and come out on top more often then not.

https://5thsrd.org/gamemaster_rules/monsters/lich/

Unless this is your skeleton, in which case hopefully the skeleton's alignment is closer to neutral good than neutral evil.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

on the other hand, you have pathfinder

https://2e.aonprd.com/MonsterFamilies.aspx?ID=472

skeletons are scary there. can you imagine going around a dark corner in a museum, killing a skeleton and after collapsing and you commemorate your victory, ITS BONES FUCKING EXPLODE?!?!

edit: i accidentally wrote "it is bones fucking explode" instead of "its bones fucking explode"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Make your reflex save. blobcat, bouncefast

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

it really is bones fucking explodes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Very bold of you to assume your average Lemming is level one, most of us are rocking a peasant stat block if we're lucky

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Definitely still got that weight advantage though

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

We're the filthy peasants trying to pass through the level 0 funnel adventure of Dungeon Crawl Classics

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As a necromancer fighting unit, the skeleton is easy to tear apart, so their tactic is to ambush or overwhelm with numbers and hit you with weapons before you can disable them. So they're best against unarmored opponents.

Archers might be more dangerous if they are strong enough to pull a war bow like a longbow.

Clever necromancers will make bone molds and craft critical bones out of ceramic or bronze or steel in order to make more resiliant units, but these often require different animation spells. Some expeimentation has been done with bone powder and ceramic.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You do know that steel reinforced necromantic constructs have been outlawed since the great wizard convention of 1848??

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Outlawed, yes, but that doesn't preclude their use by nefarious interests.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I, for one, think that skeletal improvement might be a desirable pursuit.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

You are correct. It does however seem highly unlikely that such a construct would be placed inside a museum though. Anyone having to do anything with it would immediately be investigated by the wizard police.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Pfft, who the hell even reads wizarding texts?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

That is common knowledge among educated necromancer.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago

Yeah but when they have red eyes it means they’re recording and it’s much harder to perform for an audience therefore levelling the playing field.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I might be in trouble I dont even weigh a single order of magnitude more than 30 pounds 😭

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Most people aren't 300 pounds. That's hard to reach even if you're trying.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

On one hand, bio power armor gives you an edge in mass and possibly strength. On the other hand, if the skeleton is moving, it's animated by magic, and who knows what the limits of its magic are.

Also, while skin is "armor" of a sort, it's pretty pathetic armor. What were some of the earliest knives used for? Cutting flesh, a.k.a. bio armor. What were some of those early knives made from? Bone.

And your bio armor: what is it protecting? Vulnerable blood vessels and organs inside the body. What vulnerabilities does a skeleton have? Probably none?

Then there's tendons. Your knee bone's connected to your thigh bone, as the song goes. How? Tendons. A skeleton lacks tendons, so theoretically it's a lot easier to disconnect a skeleton's bones from each-other. But, then again, magic.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

What if I come around the corner, muttering about how things in my life suck, and a skeleton gets me, and agrees with my complaints?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

OrderS of magnitude? How heavy does this guy think we are?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

He's clearly talking about yo mama

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But what if it has a bow and arrows? Minecraft skeletons are terrifying.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Are they? I feel like they miss a ton

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In Minecraft where you can take a few arrows to the face, no. In real life? Absolutely.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I have never had a real life skeleton shoot at me, but hey maybe one day

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

All well and good but what if there are two skeletons?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

what if the skeleton has a banana?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Shit, calcium AND potassium??? We're doomed!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Is that 30 pound figure green or kiln dried?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Inordinately proud that my homebrew solution for playing as a skeleton takes all this into account.

See in dark (cool) but brek EZ (bad)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

harryhausen has a lot to answer for