this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2024
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Atheist Memes

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

I only sin so Jesus has a job.

I'm a job creator.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (2 children)

they're gonna automate that soon

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You have been connected to JESUS.

Please type your prayer below.

You can say things like “mom could really use that surgery” or “please let my football team win.”

Your prayers are important to us, so please wait on the line while your savior responds. We know you have a choice in saviors, and we are proud that you have trusted your soul with us.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Unfortunately, your saviour has run out of donations to respond to your prayers. Please type your email address and you will recieve the payment link to pay for your subscription and continue using this service. If you live in the European Union, your payment data is safe with us, as explained in the privacy policy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

Lewd Love Machines

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

But don't you see, a guy ate a fruit once that God knew he would eat, and that he didn't have the free will not to eat, in a situation that God set up, so now every person that exists deserves eternal torture? /s

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

No because God came down and fake sacrificed himself and asked himself to forgive everyone, and he said yes to himself.

Plus by then he'd already murdered pretty much the entire population except the ones he liked by drowning.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

But you still have to believe that it happened, and depending who you ask, act according to some rules to be affected by the sacrifice

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Couldn't God have just populated the earth with male and female copies of Jesus, who would all just tell the serpent to fuck off? Wouldn't that have been fine? Less child rape and cancer of the eye etc. Just sayin..

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Ole sky wiz made and failed at 99.9% of all life that has ever existed and made a redundant universe that is at least fifty times the size of the visible universe just so they could put conservative misogynist men in play around a half dead star thirteen and a half billion years after they started this project. Logical efficiency is not part of the equation. Circular god logic dictates if you're not convinced by belief in belief leafy leaf belief belief, it's not imaginary friends if leaf we do all it... Hey look, a Q-tip can pass straight through the hollows between my ears... What were you saying.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

Yeah but then the GM couldn’t come in with his GMPC and roleplay as the ~~sanctimonious asshole~~ Paladin saving all the heathens if there weren’t no heathens to save.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

This Jesus gets me

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

Accept Jesus into your heart.

Do you have a magic marker ...