Ask Lemmy

"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty."

Obviously the ideal is to die under suspicious circumstances in a large house with many rooms and secret passages, a variety of potential murder weapons, and several mutually distrustful colorful characters.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my uncle, not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Not likely though.

Had a heart attack recently... while waiting for surgery, asleep, they tell me my heart stopped for eight seconds.

No clue. Woke up in the morning like usual, browsing my phone when they come in and tell me.

Hopefully just like that.

Death by snu snu

Soon

I should die due to my own negligence, playing fast and loose with custom firmware for my cyber heart at the age of 300.

Casualty of the heat death of the universe

Peacefully in my sleep, like the guy in the joke, and not like the passengers of his car.

Not at my own hand

in one-on-one combat with a God while stealing something forbidden for humanity.. if that's still a thing..

I'll never forget asking my father this question as a kid, and he answered without hesitation, "A bullet to the head." Fast-forward a few decades and that's how he went out by the firearm he carried to protect his family, causing more harm than any mugger or assailant could have caused if he was unarmed. Take care of yourself fellow lemms and dont dwell on death, focus on living a life you dont want to leave behind and keep pushing your Boulder up the hill regardless of how many times it rolls back down.

In my sleep in 90 years.

With the heat death of the universe in some full dive vr utopia.

At age 92.

From a gunshot wound.

Fired by an outraged husband.

Just like my grandfather, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like his passengers

in my sleep

At an old age peacefully after having a satisfying life

Preferably before neurological decline sets in as I'd prefer to not go like I've seen so many others go; forgetting the faces of their loved ones

I'd also hope that I will have left happy memories with those that would remember me after I've passed. Stories they'd love to tell people. Stories their grandkids would love to hear.

As peacefully and painlessly as possible. Preferably as little inconvenience to others as well. I hope to have all my affairs well in order and they better not pay money to put me in a box in the ground. I've told every family member I can. Donate what you can to others if possible and donate the rest to science for some med students to get practice.

Fast and painless.

Heroically and instantly

In my sleep when I'm old.

Battling aliens on a different planet. Is that too much to ask for?

Suicide before Alzheimers, on my own terms 🫡

Slowly over the course of months hooked up to every device to keep me "alive" in the ICU because my shitty relatives can't let me go otherwise they won't get to steal my social security checks every month. /s

Or peacefully while watching the sunrise over a beautiful snow capped mountain rage.

My personal immortality testing is still in human trial but it's shown promising results so far!

Burning up during extravehicular re-entry

The gforces I aquire after miscalculating my trajectory while testing my space engine and gaining too much momentum on my slingshot off of Jupiter.

Quickly. No need to drag it out for months or years.

False vacuum decay.

No pain or suffering, no worry about it coming, just instantaneous non-existence at literally the speed of light.

The big problem is it would be all of humanity (and everything else) and not just myself.
So not actually something I hope happens, just that if I have to die...

Similar would be being at the center of a large explosion or implosion - I understand that the passengers on that one submarine likely didn't have time to experience anything.

As part of a destructive process of digitization.