1076
Mandatory bees (startrek.website)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago

Maybe it’s just late, but this one-two punch of randomness and absurdity just got me good. Still giggling.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It's about to be 2pm here and I'm laughing hard so it's not just you and not just the late hour 🤣

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I've been giggling at this since I saw this in the morning. I'm trying to fall asleep now and I'm still here

[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago

We’re a collaboration first company, and that’s why the “Bees in my desk!” policy works for us. Nothing brings us closer than the sudden release of bees at our corporate headquarters. Some of you will feel some resistance to the idea, but an anonymous poll overwhelmingly approved of it. We look forward to a sudden swarm at our next mandatory town hall meeting.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Important Policy Update: As part of our continued commitment to being an inclusive work environment, we've elected to expand our popular 'Bees in my desk!' policy to also include paper wasps, yellow jackets, and tarantula hawks! Please look forward to the roll-out of this new and improved policy starting on Monday!

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Judge all you want, but the paper wasps and tarantula hawks are a real improvement.

Yellow jackets can fuck right off though.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah, you have to try to get tarantula hawks to bother you (unless you're a tarantula), and paper wasps have a pretty small aggression radius.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

After Thursday, all employees will be required measures the amount of honey(nectar) that is gathered by their desk hive.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Hwhat's this? An overabundance of bees in the workplace? My briefcase full of bees ought to put a stop to that!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Can confirm I’m more efficient when collaborating with others when the bees are released.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Hey there team members!

I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Now that you’re back in the office, I’m sure some you are picking up on the new “buzz” around town. I bet some of you can’t even “bee-lieve” it!

Yasss queen, using some of our pizza party budget, we’ve installed all natural honey dispensers into everybody’s desk! But remember to “beehive” yourself and not take too much, so as to not upset our flying friends (Darrell, we’re all wishing you a speedy recovery!).

Anyway, that’s enough “droning” on from me.

Bee seeing you! -hr

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

But resistance is fu...n? :-P

[-] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

You cannot stop her. Prepare for bees.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

That Oprah meme has evolved huh

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

"I like my women like I like my coffee... COVERED IN BEES!"

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Does this fetish have a name? Just so I can explicitely avoid it.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

oviposition

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Not (to my knowledge) a fetish , just an Eddie Izzard line from the aptly named stand up special Glorious 😁

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Why would you want to stop her? Don't you want the bee crisis to be resolved?

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Does she have dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark bees fly out?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Smithers, release the hounds.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Release the robotic Richard Simmons.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Ugh I read "orifice" instead of "office" at first.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I wouldn't wish harm on the bees, maybe bees is a product name for a vibrator though. If it's not it should be.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Not the Bees!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Does she work at Applebees?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Only if the bees are strictly proprietary and designed to stop working after a few years.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Mandatory bees nutz

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

She can put bees in my office wink wink

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Later that very same year, on International Bring a Shit-Ton of Bees to Work Day

https://youtube.com/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&si=T9Ri-aaA7KWYS5a3

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/hBZmQdFbVcY?si=U3z1f4hEkjl4uwJk

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

We have top men working on it. Top. Men.

But yeah we probably can't stop her.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Are they the ones in charge of the British clothing chain?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

No, but their weapon is strong against Shadow Man (kinda useless in every other situation, though.)

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Pickle status update: buoyant

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

RTO is getting weird

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I think it's an offer

this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2023
1076 points (99.1% liked)

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