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Mandatory bees (startrek.website)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago

We’re a collaboration first company, and that’s why the “Bees in my desk!” policy works for us. Nothing brings us closer than the sudden release of bees at our corporate headquarters. Some of you will feel some resistance to the idea, but an anonymous poll overwhelmingly approved of it. We look forward to a sudden swarm at our next mandatory town hall meeting.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Important Policy Update: As part of our continued commitment to being an inclusive work environment, we've elected to expand our popular 'Bees in my desk!' policy to also include paper wasps, yellow jackets, and tarantula hawks! Please look forward to the roll-out of this new and improved policy starting on Monday!

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Judge all you want, but the paper wasps and tarantula hawks are a real improvement.

Yellow jackets can fuck right off though.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah, you have to try to get tarantula hawks to bother you (unless you're a tarantula), and paper wasps have a pretty small aggression radius.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

After Thursday, all employees will be required measures the amount of honey(nectar) that is gathered by their desk hive.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Hwhat's this? An overabundance of bees in the workplace? My briefcase full of bees ought to put a stop to that!

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Can confirm I’m more efficient when collaborating with others when the bees are released.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Hey there team members!

I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Now that you’re back in the office, I’m sure some you are picking up on the new “buzz” around town. I bet some of you can’t even “bee-lieve” it!

Yasss queen, using some of our pizza party budget, we’ve installed all natural honey dispensers into everybody’s desk! But remember to “beehive” yourself and not take too much, so as to not upset our flying friends (Darrell, we’re all wishing you a speedy recovery!).

Anyway, that’s enough “droning” on from me.

Bee seeing you! -hr

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

But resistance is fu...n? :-P

this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2023
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