Left

• Name: Sour Joe
• Stats: DEX 5 - STR 3 - INT 10
• Special Attack: Yeast Starter (Deals damage over time. If applied 5 times in 30 secs opponent takes explosive damage.)

Middle

• Name: Gluten Gus
• Stats: DEX 10 - STR 5 - INT 3
• Special Attack: Bloat (This strike slows opponent down by 2% lasts for 10 secs, hits stack.)

Right

• Name: LARRY DA LOAF
• Stats: DEX 1 - STR 20 - INT 1
• Special Attack: Pound Cake (Charge attack, at 50% does double damage and at 100% causes stun for 3 secs.)

The one on the left. He has a look in his eye that says "I've done morally questionable things at a CIA/MI6 black site".

Bring the pain!

The dude on the right is cheating and only showing the underside of the loaf, bet it's long, wide, and maybe an inch thick. Edit: Oxford comma

Guy on the right, look at his sheer confidence!

He's already won and he knows it.

Right one. It weighs more. One massive thump to the head and those other two are history.

Rock-hard (and indeed contains various rocks such as gravel), never goes stale, and is terribly sustaining. A traveller can go for miles, just knowing there's dwarf bread in their pack. A traveller can think of just about anything to eat rather than dwarf bread including their own foot and even pumpkins (see Witches Abroad).

Various forms of dwarf bread can be used as weapons, e.g. battle muffins and drop scones. Fine specimens of dwarf bread can be found in the Dwarf Bread Museum, Whirligig Alley, Ankh-Morpork, open to the public whenever volunteers have time (Feet of Clay).

Vampire assembly - The annual bake-off.

I know the Marvel movies have been going downhill, maybe this is their plan to turn it around. The Breadvengers!

None of those look remotely edible to me.

Monsieur Baguette is clearly the superior choice.

Drakula baking bread

Far left appears to have that firm ass, welcome to San Francisco, crisp sourdough crust. Far right is some bread pan, Texas toast make’n, sponge crust.

As always, the left of where the fun is, and the right boring and conservative.

Breads of Unusual Size