this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2023
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Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The best ones are thoughts that many people can relate to and they find something funny or interesting in regular stuff.

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Meta Platforms. X Corp. tell me those aren't straight from a strangely prescient cyberpunk classic

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[–] [email protected] 124 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I’m just waiting for Omni Consumer Products (OCP) to open in Detroit.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or Allied Commercial-Media Enterprises

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 113 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Don't forget Truth Social. Straight out of ministry of truth.

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[–] [email protected] 100 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Now we just need companies to have their own militaries and then for someone to nuke one of their towers. We'd have the whole nine yards.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"He burned down half the city just to prove he was right and burned the other half just for fun."

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[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I still think it's hilarious that Facebook renamed to Meta, and anything they did with the "metaverse" was a huge failure. It's like they didn't learn their lesson from Second Life.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Second Life isn't owned by Meta. And just by the amount of money Second Life earned, and somehow still earns to this day, it was a pretty huge success. The only real success in the "virtual world" field. It's not surprising somebody else would try to emulate that success.

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[–] [email protected] 87 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Don't forget the conglomerate names:

Microsoft-Activision-Blizzard

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Well, there was a bit of a stir when it was decided that since corporations are people, they could technically run for president. But President Walt Disney-Pepsi-Comcast has done wonders for the economy... given that it's... now the economy"

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Oh and don't forget the cheeky suckers that explicitly named their nutritional supplement company Soylent Nutrition, Inc.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (16 children)

i do like soylent tho. i'm gonna go shake one up rn

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Pretty much. Welcome to the fucking future I guess. There's no flying cars and green cities and happiness or bloody universal healthcare, instead we have corpos trying to turn us into their consumer slaves and governments turning authoritarian. Just do what you're told and buy more. Don't ask questions don't think just browse TikTok, improve your social credit score, and imprint more ads into your psyche until WW3.

We're walking into hell with our eyes wide open fuck me it hurts.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My first ISP in the late 90s was Skynet Online.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago

Those names were always parodying the names of actual corporations. I'm pretty sure Weyland Yutani is basically supposed to be like Lockheed Mitsubishi

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago

Normal people reading dystopian fiction: “wow, the author really portrayed well the downfall of humanity if we were to go down the wrong path”

Billionaires reading dystopian fiction: “hey, you know what…”

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When Weyland corp announce a merger with Yutani industries it's time to worry.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Or when Arisaka starts moving in on Militech turf.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Waiting for Weyland-Yutani...

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

When runaway capitalism is the norm and all the shareholders care about is that bottomline, then they will lean into the dystopia and be blatant about it when nobody is stopping them laughing all the way to the bank.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You want a trip down “is this a cyberpunk dystopia company” name, go check out the data brokers on the data broker registries in Vermont and California.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Acxiom, Experian, TransUnion, Oracle Data Cloud, CoreLogic, Axle, Equifax, Foursquare Labs, Inc., OnAudience, Nielsen, ... ... ... ...

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I always thought this for the financial market: Standard & Poor

Moody

The Fed (as in, the past tense of feed)

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (3 children)

There's also E Corp from Mr. Robot.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (7 children)

That one was clealy google, not the other way around

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (4 children)

You didn't mention Facebook? That's super dystopian to me. What's a face book if not a large collection of identities being monitored?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It sounds like a cursed item in D&D or something.

The Book of Faces Wondrous Item, very rare

This enchanted tome magically records the likeness each humanoid slain in its vicinity, preserving a snapshot of their life and memories. The book can be read to glean superficial information about it's subjects. As an action, you can tear a page from the book to summon a ghostly spirit of its subject, which will be magically compelled to answer questions. The spirit knows nothing the owner did not know in life.

The Demon Lord Elgor Ithym is said to have a keen interest in this book...

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

What’s a face book if not a large collection of identities being monitored?

Well, historically (and I mean in the 1990s) it was a collection of names and photographs of all the new students at your college, to help in meeting people and/or to see who's hot.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm still waiting for the cool neon signs.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I also like Alliant Techsystems, then merged with Orbital Sciences Corp into Orbital ATK.

They are part of NGIS (Northrop Grumman Innovation Systems), so evil things might come from there.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I find it amusing how nobody noticed when Valve changed their name to Valve Corporation ages ago, and people keep referring to it as Valve Software.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yea, X Corps definitely becomes the manufacturer of the protein bar machines on snowpiercer

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Art creates the future. Whatever we envision we steer ourselves toward, consciously or unconsciously. A vision has gravity, and pulls people toward it. The more a vision is etched into people’s minds, the more likely we will live it.

I’m convinced Apple’s overall aesthetic is based on Star Trek: TNG. Or at least it was for a phase, until we got bored with it and took it even further.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (5 children)

If you think about it, all sorts of fucked up things that are happening now have been portrayed as a bad thing in past media: Virtual words, virtual-fuckin' land (not 100% sure this one is real, still really hoping its not), misuse of AI, smart houses, where everything is controlled by a remote (which relies on electricity / wi-fi), even stuff like alexa, which is listening to every word you say, at your home...

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Amazon web services

Doesnt sound so evil...

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

There's a company called Hashicorp that's been in the news recently. Literally perfect

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Heh, people from 50 years ago hearing that my job is terraforming using Hashicorp equipment would be very disappointed.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Pinkerton Consulting and Investigations Inc is a pretty good one too.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (12 children)
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