this post was submitted on 20 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Grab the "2 random pills" and the "duplicate anything you own once" pill. Duplicate the "2 random pills" pill with the duplicate pill and eat both "2 random pills" pill and have 4 absolutely random abilities.

Hopefully it's pure chaos

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (6 children)

“2 random pills” and shoebox pill. Take the shoebox pill, get a shoebox filled with the 2 random pills (since you got one they became “real”). Grab a big handful of pills and swallow.

Others (in case you don’t want to collapse civilization or piss gasoline):

  • Shoebox + any question = practically unlimited questions. Plus the first one should be something like “how can I achieve maximum happiness (in an easy way where current me would be comfortable with the results)?” and you can ask variations to get a clearer answer since you have practically unlimited ones. Only drawback is if “single-use” really means the duplicates don’t do anything.

  • Shoebox + groundhog day = probably get to live >10000 years (unless “single-use” prevents that)

  • Shoebox + pi money = practically unlimited money, no “single use” issue

  • Shoebox + kill one person = Death Note

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

Shoebox glitch is way overpowered, nice one.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Shoebox is a nice idea, but now I'm wondering how big the pills would be...

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

based binding of Isaac player

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[–] [email protected] 66 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Who thought pale yellow was the right colour, to use on a white background?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago

"All Mountain Dew is free at stores for you"

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thank you. Now I can actually read some of them.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The others not anymore though.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago (10 children)

Take showbox pill, order box full of all pill on picture. Take duplicate pill.

Duplicate shoebox. Take duplicate pill from shoebox. Repeat until satisfied.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I am gonna be real with you guys

  • get 10% more sleep per sleep

And

  • both nostrils always work

Is this what getting older does to me?

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'll take the shoebox(full of perfect diamonds, thanks xkcd!) and just for fun, the almost 10k calories of cheese for added wealth, opulence, and because I really love cheese. Some cheeses are worth hundreds of dollars a pound.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

High-quality diamonds are expensive, but it's hard to get a handle on their exact price because ~~the entire industry was built on a scam~~ the gemstone market is complicated.

Nice one!

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

So I did the napkin math, if you pick two random pills and two random pills, there's a 19.05% chance to get something objectively bad, a 28.57% chance of getting something useless, and a 52.38% chance of getting something objectively good for a total 80.95% chance to get something not bad. Assuming infinite loops are banned and you don't have a genuine interest in a given pill, 4 random pills is the best call.

There's also a 2.27% chance of getting 2 random pills on each of those 4 tries.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I'm taking the collapse civilisation, twice

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

You caused a civilization underflow. The world is now almost maximally civilized.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

get π million dollars and get +3 on all charm. This would actually help me dramatically.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the "groundhogs day" power, but couldn't you spend a year tracking winning lottery numbers, bets, and/or stocks and then "loop" that year and act on that knowledge in the repeat year? Then you would also essentially get +1 year of life and way more than $π million. I would also use the first loop to take medical tests of my health as much as possible since it wouldn't matter if I went into debt in the first loop.

I guess the downside would be that any progress you've made on personal goals would have to be redone. Or maybe you don't get to decide the starting point of when you would loop back to. Or just my luck, there would be some butterfly-effect shit and I would end up worse off in the repeat loop because my investments would have failed.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Your average shoebox is 35X23.5X13.5 cm, or 11103.75 cubic centimeters. The density of gold is 19.3 g/cm^3. You can fit 11103.75X19.3 = 214302 grams of gold in a shoebox. One gram of gold right now is $77.78 US. That's 214302X77.78 = over 16.5 million US. There are things significantly more valuable (but not more fungible) than gold, too. The Pi million pill is completely moot. Or just take both, I guess.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

No, get the gold and the pill that doubles something you own. The pi million is completely moot.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

I don't feel like reading all that. I'll take the black one twice. Let's see...

  1. Change amount of fingers at any time
  2. Hear plants talk by looking at them
  3. Chocolate has all vitamins and minerals I need
  4. Urinate gasoline

I think I can live with that. If the plants get too noisy, I can always piss on them and light them on fire.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (5 children)

The shoebox full of gold would be worth around $12M at current prices.

(First Google result for size of a shoebox: https://store.usps.com/store/product/shipping-supplies/priority-mail-shoe-box-P_0_SHOEBOX

I just rounded down the measurements for a quick and dirty estimate of the internal volume.)

The downside is that would be 341 pounds of gold so maybe specify for it to be in bars instead of a solid block.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The 3 million dollar one and immunity to cancer.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)
  • Teleporting Dr. Pepper can, so I can off tyrants, right wing nuts and dictators every 14.5h by summoning them inside their heads.

  • Not getting cancer sounds cool too

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If you can control any Milliliter of water, you can easily shred up people's brains.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Immune to venom and urinate gasoline. When I tell my doctor it burns when I pee, I want to mean it. Also, I figure something like that would send spiderman after me.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'll take the shoebox filled with these pills. They have to be real, because I couldn't get my box without them.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The course sand pocket would be pretty great. Unlimited free sand. I could run an empire.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Death Note at home: Summon Dr pepper can anywhere every 14.5 hours, summon them directly into the brains of my enemies.

Both nostrils work all the time: I'd take this twice if it meant it worked twice as good.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I'll take the strawberry flavored one because I like strawberry. Then I'll get the shoebox, and completely fill it with the pill that gives you $3,414,592.65. Then I'd throw a bunch of them in a blender and make a little smoothie that will make me a billionaire. There's probably enough pills to do that a couple of times.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Wonder if those pills are considered part of "anything real"

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Control a single milliliter of water. That one effectively gives me like 85% of the others.. water molecule nanobots.

Then I guess the money one so I'm not rushed.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

3.14 million and the answer to the question of the best stock to invest in for a 5 year return.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (4 children)

or you can get billions by asking for a shoebox with the hardware wallet of a high profile bitcoin whale and still have a second pill.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Or maybe ask for the shoe box to be full of a block of pure gold? Probably easier to sell and should have a value of about $18M.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'll take two shoeboxes filled with gold. With a size of 35x25x13cm it'll be 11,375cm³ which can contain 219.77kg of gold worth €15,519,086. That's €31,038,172 for two shoeboxes. I think I'll be able to make a good early retirement on that.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Man you should check out how much rhodium is worth…

Edit: and Polonium-209

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

I'll just hop on down to the Cash for Rhodium store and offload that then I guess.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I'll take the money and kill a person

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (7 children)

Immune to Cancer and Grapes.

The grapes are basically free income if I can just plant them half-assed and they always turn out. There is even the implication that they don't need fertilizer or other associated costs.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

control body temperature

My own body, or any body I want? And how liberally can I use the word "body" here? Do bodies of water count? How about celestial bodies?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Honestly? I don't even know if the wacky shit is necessary. The money pill and the 10% extra rest per sleep is just fine by me.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

groundhog day. I want to spend as much time with my kids as I can and I need a break from work.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

ez

"strawberry flavor" and "tastes good"

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Shoebox filled with ketamine... and then a shoebox filled with ketamine.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Being serious, answer any question and get the money. I'd invest the money and ask the truth of the existence of God just to end the fucking debate.

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