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Edit: LOL love the responses. You ain't wrong...
Edit2: I posted this for giggles and have enjoyed it immensely. Thanks for the "parenting advice" (rolls eyes). My daughter is a shit show, but I wouldn't trade her in for anything. She has three daughters, one of which is exactly like her and the two others are not. So...
It's your fault, accept the shame and teach her.
I wouldn't put it that bluntly.... but yeah. OP you can't shame your child for not knowing something you should have taught her. Teach her, kindly, explaining why things are done a specific way.
Kindly.
I try to help my gf but she gets insanely annoyed at me
Try explaining it very slowly while raising your eyebrows and carefully enunciating.
Shame 🔔🔔🔔
She loaded it, but poorly. Which is a vast improvement on my wifes not loading it at all.
At least you have multiple wifes
Idk I would rather have one wife who did dishes than 2 that didn't know how to lol
Never be angry. Be patient and supportive. Don’t let frustration escalate.
For an adult? Nah. You can certainly kindly let them know that this isn't really gonna work and explain why (and let them know you appreciate the effort), but the rest of it is way overkill and could easily be seen as patronizing, imo. They're an adult, not a 13 year old.
Also, I interpreted the OP as finding it humorously absurd (which it is) rather than being frustrated or anything.
They’re an adult, not a 13 year old.
As the parent of a 13-year-old, that wouldn't work either. They'd just pout and tell you that you think they can't do anything right.
Not that getting angry helps, that makes it worse. Bargaining can work though. Promising bubble tea from a local cafe if they do it right goes a long way toward committing a teenager to education.
All this plus I think it's important to say to first: be EXTREMELY careful if you feel the need to critique or criticize someone who is being helpful. Really think about if it's worth it. If what they're doing really isn't helping anything then maybe it's worth it!
BUT if you just think they could do it better or if they aren't doing it how you would do it, then think again. You might end up simply discouraging a helpful attitude that would have figured things out on their own if you had just given them a bit of vague encouragement and time.
OP admitting to not teaching their kid how to do dishes.
Not all kids take to their teachers. My parents are clean people. I'm a clean person. One of my sisters fought to never clean as she was taught. And she married someone just like her. So that house is bad sometimes.
You only have yourself to blame. You raised her, but clearly not better than this.
But who taught her to load the dish washer?
Every time my dad has something to say about me I say that.
Who was responsible for raising me again? YOU WERE, you judgemental turd.
My daughter is not an adult, she's a teenager. But it's her job to put away the dishes. And no matter what I do, she can't understand that, in the silverware drawer, THE BIG SPOONS GO IN THE BIG SPOON SLOT AND THE LITTLE SPOONS GO IN THE LITTLE SPOON SLOT!
And she thinks this is acceptable.
I understand the compulsion to disown.
My husband is 30 and can't understand this. And not every pot is meant to be stored in one, large, precariously balanced stack. There's a whole cabinet there. You can spread them out...
Many dishwashers will clean all of that fine, in my experience. The annoying part is the cups or bowls that may fill with water, just make sure they’re upside down.
As far as scraping or rinsing things…. Nah. Haven’t done it since I worked in food service and saw what dishwashers could do. Some stuff needs scraped, sure, but most will come off under the detergent and hot water.
People don't know how to use dishwashers. What's the point of using a dishwasher if you're going to clean the dishes beforehand…
I see you’ve never spent extended periods of time with shitty dishwashers and hard water
It's not necessarily washing them first, but I do get the "chunks" out. As the only person in the house who remembers that the food doesn't just magically disappear, and eventually has to clean the filter, I prefer to do the cleaning before the food gets to the filter. Everyone else, on the other hand, seems perfectly content to put a half-full bowl of spaghetti in the dishwasher.
She's trying, and she's already got the concept of "concave side down" so you need to acknowledge that. Moving on, "water sprays from the center" and "similar shapes share space" are good concepts to add. She can't exactly do "Don't crowd" because there are just too many here. But she's fully grasped "you can always rerun anything that doesn't come clean the first time."
Does the machine result in clean dishes? If yes, all good. If not, she dumb, u dumb. You built her
Believe it or not, jail.
These are the kinds of people who go on the Internet and claim that dishwashers don't work very well.
When I was 23 I moved into a sharehouse that had a dishwasher, I lived there over a year before I saw it, it had a false cabinet so it blended in. I'd always just washed my dishes in the sink and I keep all my dishes, cutlery and pans separate in a tub in the pantry because I have allergies. I'd never used a dishwasher before.
I googled how to use a dishwasher because I didn't want to be the 20 year old that can't do basic chores. I read the user manual and looked for the filters and catchment drains. They were filthy so I cleaned them, then followed the stacking guide in the user manual and ran it with a full load of my housemates dishes.
I was very impressed with how clean they came out.
I mentioned it to a housemate who found it very amusing I'd only just discovered the dishwasher, he warned me that it was old and broken and not a very good dishwasher so the few housemates that use it were actually talking about splitting the cost of a replacement if I wanted to get in on it.
Why? When the dishwasher was working perfectly.
All 7 of my housemates flooded into the kitchen to assess the cleanliness of the dishes because no one believed me that the dishwasher worked.
Turns out in the 7 years the house had been used for student housing since the landlords son took over as head tenant, not a single one of the rotating cast of 8 housemates had ever cleaned the secondary catchment filter, and only rarely did someone remember to clean the main filter.
Turns out the dishwasher works great when you remove the months worth of old rotten corn building up in the filter, and drain off the 7 years of muck that's blocking the greywater outlet flow.
My housemates will still say I stack the dishwasher like a sociopath, but I learned from the user manual so I don't care, the dishes are clean.
She's from group B. Group A loads correctly. Group B does this stuff on purpose so we in group A will just stop letting them screw this up and they no longer have to load it.
You clearly failed as a parent.
Am I married to your daughter?
I have created a monster.
The woman I married stuffed the dishwasher like that. Just tossed stuff in, unrinsed. Wherever it would fit and still allow the drawers to close.
I had to clean out the filter twice in one month and asked her to rinse. Bowls would turn over and fill with nasty water, so I asked her to stack them in such a way so they wouldn't.
The woman I'm married to now has a fucking system. I don't fully know it and I dare not do it wrong. Meal prep bowls go on top, lids, on the bottom. Forks and spoons have a very specific place and so help you God if you put the sauce pan in the wrong orientation.
Fuckin hell I love that woman
This honestly looks fine. (Assuming this is before the dishwasher has run). There's not like solid chunks of food or anything just the actual stuff that you own a dishwasher to wash off for you so you don't have to. The configuration of the dishes is haphazard and chaotic but if you want to fit a lot of dishes it usually ends up that way. The cup and cup like vessels not being upside down is a problem but for the most part things are upside down or on their side as they should be. I want the dishwasher to wash dishes for me not the other way around. If you get the occasional dish after a cycle that hasn't completely cleaned you have to wash it yourself, which sucks, but that doesn't always happen so there's a reasonable chance you won't have to, and when it does happen, it's still way cleaner than it was so you're talking a cursory fix up of very few dishes. I'd take that over rinsing each and every one every time or having to hand wash half the load when there's a lot of dishes in service of a neater stacking configuration that's optimal but less space efficient.
Or just educate her.
This comment section is saucier than OP’s dirty dishwasher!
Man your daughter is lucky, I don't even have a dishwasher. I am the dishwasher. I used to have one, but then we moved house.
In the end it doesn't matter how it's stacked so long as they come out clean - don't forget to fill the prewash section with powder, it helps immensely.
You have brought shame on your bloodline with your failed attempts at raising a child.
I swear, the people obsessed with enforcing one right way to do... everything.
It looks exhausting. I feel kind of bad for them and when they start rearranging other people's work I always think of this sad lil raccoon for some reason:
There are correct and incorrect ways to load a dishwasher. Mainly allowing for water to be able to reach all surfaces and drain away from the objects.
Take a closer look. There are multiple instances in those photos that show that those two simple conditions aren't met.
Engage that brain you claim to have.
I live in a dry climate and very tightly meter my water usage and running the dishwasher twice uses less water than doing it once by hand unless I am extremely careful and use a single basin of water and a rag to rinse. That takes longer and is extremely annoying to do.
Believe it or not its the opposite for me. I help take care of my elderly parents keep them independent and they both do this. I am compelled to physically take dishes out and rearrange them to reclaim like a second loads worth of wasted space. Some days I'm also tempted to disown them!
