Hey all, I hope this post is okay

I'm currently going through a very high anxiety moment and have been having panic attacks all weekend. I'm still in one.

I've got a doctor appointment scheduled for next week, but I need some encouragement and advice to calm things down right now.

I have avoidant anxiety. When I was a student and I started having panic attacks for the first time. I couldn't force myself out of the house and stopped showing up at work and got myself fired and failed out of my classes. It took me years to recover.

I found a therapist privately back then and did CBT and it helped make things manageable enough that for years things were okay. She's no longer working, and I specifically avoided drugs then but I think that was a mistake.

I've been working for over a decade and have been carefully managing my anxiety with only a couple incidents. I worked in small companies, then did independent contracting, but now I've been in corporate jobs since COVID.

The last couple years I've been really struggling with my anxiety. As soon as everyone started doing mass layoffs and tightening the belt I've been struggling hard. The last few months it's gotten exponentially wise, and it's beyond my ability to manage.

I can't focus anymore, sitting at my desk gives me a panic attack every day, then I fail to meet my deadlines, so I stay up all night pushing myself, which boosts my anxiety.

I feel like I'm on a treadmill running full speed, but I'm tired, I can't breath anymore, I have that feeling if I run anymore my legs will collapse. But I'm on a treadmill, if I fall I get wrangled and crushed, even though I know I can't keep running.

Man I just need someone to say they know how I feel, that I'm not alone, and to help me push the next week until my appointment.

Edit: thank you everyone, you all helped me through that moment and I'm feeling clearer right now. You said some things that were what I needed to hear, with concrete advice, and I can't express how much I appreciate that.

It's going to be a rough week and I have a lot to think about

TNG S4E16 Galaxy's Child

This episode has so much cringe in it.

Geordie setting up a meeting and trying to make it into a date is a lot. Plus omitting that he had the computer summarize her files to resolve a critical crisis, while using the information he got from her file in discussing with her is not good.

Brahms does an excellent job letting him down and putting up firm boundaries.

But oh god, when she discovers the holodeck program, and then Geordie rant!

It's tough to watch in a totally different way than the Quark Gender swap episode.

(OC)

Inspired by https://dubvee.org/post/1489076

I just watched Measure of a Man, they rule Data has the right to choose. But in Voyager the EMH gets relegated to forced servitude. Why? Doesn’t that violate precedent?

Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre stepped into the debate over trans rights on Wednesday, saying "biological males" should be banned from women's sports, change rooms and bathrooms.

"Female spaces should be exclusively for females, not for biological males," Poilievre said in Kitchener, Ont.

The Conservative leader made the comments after being asked if, as prime minister, he would introduce legislation to prevent "transgender women" or "biological men" from participating in female sports or entering female prisons and shelters.

"A lot of the spaces … are provincially and municipally controlled, so it is unclear ... what reach federal legislation would have to change them," Poilievre said.

"But obviously female sports, female change rooms, female bathrooms should be for females, not for biological males," he added.

Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre stepped into the debate over trans rights on Wednesday, saying "biological males" should be banned from women's sports, change rooms and bathrooms.

"Female spaces should be exclusively for females, not for biological males," Poilievre said in Kitchener, Ont.

The Conservative leader made the comments after being asked if, as prime minister, he would introduce legislation to prevent "transgender women" or "biological men" from participating in female sports or entering female prisons and shelters. 

"A lot of the spaces … are provincially and municipally controlled, so it is unclear ... what reach federal legislation would have to change them," Poilievre said.

"But obviously female sports, female change rooms, female bathrooms should be for females, not for biological males," he added.