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5 Summer Activities Sure to Ruin Your Lawn Summer is here, and that means one thing: it’s time to watch in horror as your lawn turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Why fight it? Embrace the inevitable chaos with these five activities guaranteed to obliterate that golf course-caliber lawn you’ve been working years on. You might as well lay down wood chips and call it a day, because those little savages will destroy it by fall one way or another.

1. Slip and Slide Ah, the slip and slide – the classic summer activity that promises fun, laughter, and a lawn that looks like it hosted a mud-wrestling tournament. After a few hours of kids hurling themselves down a plastic sheet at breakneck speed, your once-lush grass will be nothing more than a distant memory. The combination of water and trampling is sure to create a muddy disaster zone. Just remember, mud is nature’s way of saying, “You never really liked grass that much anyway.”

Read the rest of the satire news article here at TattletaleTimes.com

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This week, a groundbreaking advancement in drone technology has overbearing parents nationwide sighing in relief and children hiding in terror. Drone manufacturer HoverHawk released their latest product: the Helicopter Parent, a drone designed to provide around-the-clock, relentless supervision of your soon to be traumatized children.

The Helicopter Parent, a sleek black quadcopter, comes equipped with the latest in surveillance technology, including 4K cameras, facial recognition, and a megaphone for issuing real-time scoldings from your smartphone.

The new drone can hover silently or employ a “gentle hum” setting for those who prefer a more constant, oppressive presence, also features thermal imaging for night-time monitoring and a proximity alert system that sounds an alarm if a child steps outside a designated area, such as their front yard, school, or out of arm’s reach of a parent.

Read the rest of the satire news article here at TattletaleTimes.com

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