this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 81 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Looks like a knotted string of butt hairs connected across the diameter of the anus, splitting the turd in twain. At some point the pressure of the bowel movement overstressed the butt hair bridge, snapping it and allowing the remainder of the shit to come out as one.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago

The fact that you used the word twain while talking about what happened during a shit is amazing. Superb. No notes.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure I agree, the diameter of the trunk isn't significantly different from the diameter of the branches. If it were split, the branches should be half as wide.

I think what happened is that the beginning of the turd was the top of the trunk, and it broke where the end of the lower-right branch is. You can see that it broke at an angle. Then the remaining part came out and that angled bit is where the left branch attaches to the trunk. I think it landed there in it's soft/warm state and merged together at that point. You can see that the color of the top of the left branch is the same as the end of the right branch, then transitions to lighter.

And that's as much turd analysis as I want to do today.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Take my upvote you filthy animal

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

The simplest explanation is that someone merged them together by hand in order to take a picture of it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Found the butthole/shit expert

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

Now we're shitposting

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

It's not a waffle stomp. It's a noodle press

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

In this episode of Ceedoestrees: Poop Detective!

Seriously though, that's some impressive reasoning!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Artemis, dat u?

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago (2 children)

My dog laid this dick shaped turd in 2018

[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Saved to favourites, did you?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Saved the turd for later, too

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

it's the circleeee of lifeee

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

as one does

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Amazing, and you kept it in your photos until just the right time.

Future archeologists are going to have a field day with all our leftover photos.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

It makes you wonder what else is on the camera roll and which shitposts will unlock its secrets.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Now this is shitposting!

[–] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago

You know... maybe putting a camera with a near-infinite capacity for free photos in everyone's pocket a was bad idea...

[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Two shits laid on top of each other fused

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago

It’s not possible to upvote and downvote at the same time. That’s frustrating.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I believe this caused when two dogs poop "lady and the tramp" style.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's the lucky turd. You're supposed to eat it for good luck.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No dont eat it! You're supposed to break it in half like a wishbone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

And then eat it

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

This is bringing back memories of not only finding the same thing, but also of the turd that I found in my front flower box one February that was full of cables.

I present that turd to you now.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

The forbidden noodles

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Jesus Christ beurk. And is that an undigested pill.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

…and an adjacent chicken wing

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Passing that must have been a real pain in the ass...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Oh I have two buttholes. That was mine.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Holy fuck. Please. Please. Please but the NSFW filter on this. I was eating and I almost gagged.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

When you come to the fork in the road, take it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

The elusive petrified rabbit(tm) personal massager. Some ancient astronaut theorists believe such technology was beyond what humanity was capable of at the time. The question is: who gave the technology to our ancestors?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Miles "Tails" Prower was here