this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2024
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Ripping off a post I just saw in the Isaac Arthur subreddit. Imagining we work out the technical ability. Examples they suggested were:

  • No periods
  • No balding
  • No nausea
  • No body odor
  • Resistance to obesity and muscle wasting
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[–] [email protected] 105 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Redesign the spine for vertical use. Don't put the eating and breathing tubes on either side of the same flap.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (5 children)

We should have tons of little breathing holes all over.

Imagine if no one snored?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (4 children)

While you can create spiracles that repel polar substances like water, you cannot protect them against surfactant like soap. No more showers unless you want to drown.

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[–] [email protected] 88 points 11 months ago (9 children)

Ability to regrow lost teeth

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

*if teeth are in a regular position.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Just as long as I don't grow my wisdom teeth back. I don't want to have to have those removed again.

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 69 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ability to go to sleep when sleep should be gone to.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Or the ability to forgo sleep indefinitely. I've got too much shit I want to do and too little time.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago

Let's apply RPG sleep rules.

You can go for weeks without sleep, but when you do sleep, you awaken fully healed.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

RFC, pull request to add git.

Reasoning: Having a built-in versioning system would allow humans to ~~rollback~~ roll back undesirable changes and advancements could be made more easily

please comment or downvote if this is a bad idea

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Let's put a cap on how much excess energy the body can store as fat. Sure, some amount is fine and has a number of uses, but just let me poop some excess calories out. I'd only need more if I were to hibernate.

Thinking on it, I want to hibernate too, please.

While we're at it from animals, how about upping some of our regeneration? Teeth don't regrow? Naw, constant regen please. I get too big of a cut and I get a scar? Let's let everything regrow from being lost if you can survive without it. Also why doesn't the brain heal? Most important part of the body and each crack's there for life. Let me get my serotonin back already, slacker.

Also what's with this getting assigned a gender thing? You don't even get to know what it means before you have one! And then we build society as if this coin flip was the seed to the tree of life. Let people choose and switch naturally, please and thank you.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 11 months ago

Just one universal blood type please

[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Hair and nails not constantly growing

Your body not over reacting to things (allergies and auto immune)

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Hunger annoys me.

Like, yo, tummy: I have not failed to feed you in over 30 years. Maybe don't cause me physical pain and nausea? A simple grumble is fine until it gets actually serious, ok?

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No more biting down on my tongue or cheeks when eating. Most annoying glitch ever.

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (6 children)
  • Separate holes for eating and breathing
  • Separate sewage system from entertainment complex
  • Remove mental health disorders
  • Improved empathy
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (9 children)

Being able to shoot lasers from my tits would be cool.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago (3 children)

The breathing hole and the eating hole are separated

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

We should not get our adult teeth at 7 then no more ever. We need at least one more set.

I don't think balding is useful, agree that could go.

Fertility should be manageable without using all the devices, hormones, etc. Like it should be a positive choice not a default state we have to harm ourselves to avoid. And I don't think we need menopause either. Just turn on fertility only to get pregnant.

(ETA- I also think sexually transmitted diseases should not exist at all, they seem like religious fundamentalist biological warfare, but not sure what change in a human body could accomplish this and leave the pleasure intact. )

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (8 children)

Add more holes to the body.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Very short mating season. The amount of people is too god damned high.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Or just have a built in birth control switch that has zero side effects. Of course, it would have to be entirely controlled by the individual so as not to turn into some dystopian population control mechanism.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Kidney stones, gallstones, whatever the fuck the body does of "Lets build a rock inside the body that can fuck us up" needs to stop.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

Fix our spine and knees

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Appetite is 100% linked to calories needed. You still enjoy food, but the moment you swallow enough calories for whatever you did since the last time you ate, you have zero appetite and anything put in front of you loses all appeal.

Terrible for survival situations, great for modern life where an abundance of food is a bigger problem than a scarcity.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (11 children)

Manual/deliberate sperm/egg production.

Manual/deliberate control over fat creation and storage.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

(+) baby pouch, like marsupials'
(+) limbs regrowth capacity, like salamanders'

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I tried to click your (+) thinking it would expand. sigh

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Better foreign body-own body recognition by immune system. No more auto-immune, no allergies, MS, Lupus.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The ability not to pee myself every time I sneeze, run or jump after giving birth vaginally would be pretty nice. Even without doing any physical therapy.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I have one: ingrown nails and nail infections can go fuck themselves.

I have had FIVE consecutive toe infections in the last 18 months or so. I'm so done with it lol.

But on a broader scale, some people die or lose limbs from stuff like this, so it'd be nice if that didn't happen anymore.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

No more accidentally biting my tongue or the inside of my cheek while eating. Sometimes I'm just excited for some good food and it just gets completely ruined :(

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Micro-organisms taking a shit on our teeth doesn't cause cavities.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Definetly periods, stupid design and incredibly rare in mamals anyway.

Also, a change of our metabolism, our current way to deal with excess energy is outdated. And maybe make us resistant to cancers, that shit sucks.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Tonsils are obsolete, also:

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

A lot of great ideas here, but also sinus are such a terrible design. Please no more sinuses.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Appendix not coming from the factory is a big one. A slightly better immune system that can get through the blood/brain barrier and kill rabies/amoebas, and other brain infections like TB (without shredding brain tissue) too. If a virus like rabies gets past that barrier, you are 1 0 0 % B O N E D as your immune system is largely locked out.

Wider uterus/vagina too. Human babies have massive heads that don't fit through too well. It's like an orange on a toothpick. Making a smaller baby could be a possibility, but survivability would potentially go down.

For very tall people: a larger and stronger heart organ. A second one acting like a smaller turbo would also help. Heh. Failover cluster hearts. You'd probably have to have stronger veins and tissues as a result though.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

No more fucking hemorrhoids!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I don't care about balding (and I have been since 20s). Just a healthy body reset every decade or two/whenever necessary. Get the metabolic rate up, clean up all the junk from the environment that has polluted the DNA and reduced the telomere lengths (whatever the correlation/causation there). Just a "take the body to the shop" type of repair possible. A chance to live for centuries.

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