I want my best friend alive again, and the cancer to be gone. He can have the third.
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
40 points (84.5% liked)
Ask Lemmy
26767 readers
1444 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I'd give all three of mine to this guy.
Sorry for your loss ;(
- Reduce atmospheric CO2 to pre-industrial levels
- Give me the ability to see/hear remote locations at will.
- Give me Jessica Jones style mind-control, but without needing to be physically present.
'scuse me while I go unfuck some shit.
Reduce atmospheric CO2 to pre-industrial levels
"SEE! We told you the problem would fix itself! Now we don't need to take any action to better ourselves for the sake of the environment!"
Luckily you thought of that and using your third wish, you can fix it properly.
Infinite wishes
Fool! I wish for infinite wishes plus one!
-
Motivation to complete anything I decide to do.
-
General happiness with life.
-
Good health for my immediate family and I for 50 years.
load more comments
(3 replies)
-
A post scarcity society
-
World peace
-
The eradication of authoritarianism
load more comments
(2 replies)
a private reality which obeys whatever rules i want it to.
the ability to interface this reality with any others, as well as disconnect it, at will.
shit. this is top tier wishing right here
don't forget to make your first wish "if i, as i am now or as i become subsequent to their fulfilment, am unsatisfied with the outcome of any of my wishes, i wish to return to the moment i first was granted them, retaining full knowledge of the timeline as i caused it to be but with the ability to make diffent choices"
since we're supposed to not be dealing with a monkey paw/genie situation, i didn't use it this way, but in general I'd recommend making it your first wish under any such circumstances.
rephrase as necessary to further weed out possible loopholes.
Fix global environment/emissions to stable levels.
Fix ignorance/hate
Fix capitalism & greed
An Commodore 64, 7 million dollars, and a garbage can that never gets full
Every house needs an incinerator
and no one will ever need more than 64k of ram
Best I can do is a C64 emulator ...
I miss my first computer 😢
A monkeys paw mechanic for everyone in this thread except for me, the annullment of my own bodily needs (eg. sleep, food, water), and i dunno, maybe a cool rock
You are later crushed by your cool rock. Not because of a monkey paw but everybody else is so mad they drop it on you.
Haw haw reverse uno I use my monkey paw wish to wish the same upon to you also cool rock
1 - safety plan from other poster "if i, as i am now or as i become subsequent to their fulfilment, am unsatisfied with the outcome of any of my wishes, i wish to return to the moment i first was granted them, retaining full knowledge of the timeline as i caused it to be but with the ability to make diffent choices"
2 - maine plan - everyone wakes up to find out we are in a simulation and the real world is a post scarcity start trek like society but with total peace and harmony and none of the fighting
3 - backup plan - my own personal universe/dimension where I control all aspects of it and can enter it and leave it whenever I want. It exists outside of our time/space so when I enter and leave I can go anywhere within either as a destination
-
Post scarcity society.
-
Immortality.
-
Infinite wishes.
-
Infinite positive-effects-only wishes (what I consider to be positive)
-
Everyone now has empathy and selflessness, eliminating corruption, greed, stepping over each other, exploitation, etc.
-
Post-scarcity society, eliminating class even more than the above, since everyone can own whatever they want. Basically a real life Replicator.
-
Since I got infinite wishes, given number 3, society will have an even bigger trash problem than we already have. So a convenient, self-contained black hole we can put trash into, inventing a method of creating dark matter, revolutioning how we store energy, Futurama-style, which then becomes free due to post-scarcity.
-
Healthy planet, healthy people, healthy animals, plants, etc. Also includes mental health (infinite wishes are nice)
A replicator solves the trash problem, you just throw the trash in the replicator and it breaks it down to build stuff.
I choose you to get the wishes. Your list is my list. I don't wish for immortality - since I had kids, I'm disqualified. But 10x the lifespan with hundreds of years feeling like I do now, that would be nice, and with the replicator technology (who will get the manual on how to service these) the carrying capacity of the earth should be higher.
Universal healthcare
Capitalism and authoritarianism eradicated
Everyone's medical and student debt wiped
My own General Systems Vehicle complete with a holodeck lol.
Immortality via transfer of consciousness into permanent artificial bodies for me, my wife, and our dog.
All humans will become much more proactive and thus don't put up with corporate or government bullshit.
Max verstappen and Donald Trump both due in a head on car collision against each other.
Green Bay Packers never win another game.
To live a long and healthy life with my wife.
load more comments
(3 replies)
what's the monkey paw mechanic I'm confused
In a short story, the monkey's paw is an artifact that grants three wishes of the person who holds it, albeit in the worst way possible.
The story goes that a pensioner and his wife receive the paw from some guy who warns them that the paw twists the wishes, but they pay the warning no mind and wish for a sum of money. A finger on the paw curls, and a factory foreman shows up with the money explaining that their son has died of a horrific mutilating accident in the factory. The insurance policy pays the money out to the surviving members of the family.
The wife wishes that their son were alive again, another finger curls, and a few hours later they hear another knock at the door. The wife rushes to welcome their son, however, recalling the stranger's warning and imagining how terrifying the mutilated body of their son might look, the father uses the last finger to wish the son dead and buried again. Incidentally, there doesn't appear to be a negative on that wish apart from the horror that's already been visited on them.
I wish you hadn’t asked that
Fix the environmental and ecological collapse, end bigotry, the ability to shapeshift
The power to change things, the knowledge of how to change things for a desired outcome, and the wisdom to know if I should.
load more comments
(1 replies)
To own my own theme park in which the rides never break down so that everyone can enjoy it anytime.
£10 million. I think that’s more than enough to live off.
The ability to forget something at will so that I can experience something again for the first time.
Eric Cartman is on lemmy?
load more comments
(1 replies)
- A bottle that refills magically with the most delicious, cool, refreshing water
- Wolverine's ability to regenerate any body part
- And invisibility cloak
- For learning to be easier for everyone, so humanity can grow wiser.
- For kind acts to extend people's lives, so humanity will grow kinder.
- For the afterlife to be as perfect as promised, so we can see them again after a life of kind wisdom.
I wish for a machine that can convert matter to its subatomic particles and then rearrange them back together according to any pattern that it has stored by previously disassembling, that is also able to be integrated into the human body.
I wish for an autonomous cloud computer system that can store both the patterns and a full copy of every bit of data currently on the internet and that the machine produced and that has a neural integration system so that the entire process can be controlled by the mind, and that this system also be able to be integrated into the human body.
I wish to have both of those and myself, 1 year from today to be brought, fully functional and with all knowledge and systems intact into the past, taking the place of my 18 year old self.
Wipe the student loan debt and I'll donate the other two wishes to charity.
Seriously, fuck this six figures of bullshit.
-
Immortality.
-
The ability to link one’s life to mine, effectively make others immortal.
-
Plant the Overview Effect into the mind of every human and make it a part of humanity’s consciousness forever.
I wish I had a turkey sandwich. On rye bread. With lettuce, and mustard.
Priorities
load more comments
(5 replies)
view more: next ›