this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 148 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Bird. It’s a bird. The airline doesn’t need to know what kind of bird. Just that it’s a bird.

[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Watch me try to bring my pet Ostrich on a plane

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (3 children)

That’s a flightless bird.

[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

So before takeoff are the people who direct you to your seat the flightless attendants?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That’s the word

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Still a bird!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I wonder if flightless bird would react negatively to being on a plane and being able to see that they are flying, or if they would "remember instinctually" that their ancestors could fly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

A bird capable of flight, which had its feathers clipped to keep it from escaping, looking out the window going "This is bullshit."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

It's an emotional support animal!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's a lithium ion battery phoenix. Is that going to be a problem

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You can bring your phoenix as a carryon as long as the battery is under 90wh and only charged at 50%. Above that you can bring a larger phoenix, only if it attached to its perching device.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 year ago (4 children)

This is not how birbs should fly.

Air travel is cruel to the animals sitting in the lower decks.

In other news, I once though a customer asked if I wanted to see his banana, when he was trying to ask if we sold banana seats for a bicycle.

It was an awkward exchange.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

"Banana, see it?!" Points at crotch

Edit: A lady once came and sat down next to me at a bar. My first thought was that she was a lady of the night, and for some reason my assumption felt solidified when she in broken english asked; "do you like bananas?".

"Not particularly", I said, "do you?" "YES", she responded, with a cheerful smile. She then proceeded to pull 4 bananas out of her purse.

I ate one.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Alarm! Alarm!

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Seems like it would be especially simple to inject a banana with something that you would not want to ingest.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The thought struck me, but my gut feeling told me it was fine. I was young and naive at the time, though. I feel confident I wouldn't have accepted that banana today.

Edit: I think it was the absurdity of the situation that put me at ease. "If she wants to drug me, why bananas..", was my thinking.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Let this be a lesson to future criminals: if you want to dose someone, put it in something absurd to lower their guard.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Relevant username!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The likely hood of a banana filled with semen is not zero

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Air travel is cruel to the animals sitting in the lower decks.

But preferable to abandoning them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Ah yes, a banana. The type you sit on

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 year ago

I'm sure this won't stress the bird out so much it rips out all of its own feathers like a psychopath.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The name of that user is very disturbing. Translates to "Perineum pie" from Finnish

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Grundle gingersnap?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Best part of the pig!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

gooch hooch?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I was just thinking that they have an awesome username

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

"So you're feeding the cockatiel to the crocodile?"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Pleass I keep my crocodile AND his pet firebird ghost in his ball. He likes it there and I have a headphone jack so I can listen to his tasty jams while hunting down the Lousy Three.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I thought this was talking about the sas and was very confused didn't know sas was a thing

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I was confused even though I am a Scandinavian,

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Your cockatiel tears aren't fooling anyone.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not a fan of SAS. Every time I've flown with them their cabin pressure is all fucked up

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What aircraft? The ATR is imo generally shit at keeping pressure, but their NEOs and 350s has been great.