Off My Chest
RULES:
I am looking for mods!
1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.
2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)
3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.
4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.
5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.
6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.
view the rest of the comments
I do, actually. Our past two divorce proceedings ended with the use throwing out our case because my husband didn’t appear in court for the final ruling.
Also, his friends have been riding around in his car, without him. He and I co-own that car. I haven’t been paying the insurance or registration for it, because he won’t cooperate with me. We bought the car together and he still has it.
You need a better lawyer.
I can’t afford one. I did all the paperwork, at my husband’s request, both times. He met with the arbitrator to divide assets, but then failed to appear for the last ruling, so all of it was dismissed. We are still legally married, and I can’t afford a lawyer. There were no problems with the paperwork in the previous cases. The judge even commented on that. The problem is that my husband won’t appear to finalize the case. I wasted $465 both times I filed, not to mention wasted my gasoline and time to appear in court. They even marked me absent by mistake during the last court appearance for the second time we tried to divorce, and I had to correct them by telling them I was there, and just my spouse was absent. When they asked me where he was, I didn’t know what to tell them. I figured he stayed home, despite being given the notice to appear.
Arbitration isn’t an option if they won’t cooperate.
You need to file a motion with the court to allow “service by publication”, then publish a notice in the newspaper so a judge can hear the case without your deadbeat showing up.
https://www.wikihow.life/Divorce-a-Missing-Spouse-in-the-USA
I will look into this. Thank you for the information.
Most places allow for default judgments if one party won't cooperate. I've met quite a few people who ended up going that route. Was he present at earlier hearings? That's the only reason I can think of that a judge might hesitate, but even then, plenty of people flake on court appearances.
He was. Thats why they just dismissed it. He made sure to appear until the assets were divided. As soon as he had the items he wanted, declared as his own, he decided to stop attending. I even tried to tell him that he still needed to attend. At one point, he said something to the effect of, “I don’t have to do anything, anymore.” I told him what the judge did with our case, after he failed to appear. He just shrugged it off. That was years ago.
You got played. There’s no way a judge can accept a settlement agreement when one party is not there to confirm that’s what they agreed to.
How can someone just say no or fail to show up to a divorce? If one party wants out, they're out, no?
Yeah, but that’s not a settlement, which is what OP tried twice. She needs to serve by publication and have a judge decide.
Oh okay so you can get divorced without both parties agreeing.