this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I literally did this opening my fridge lmao. I just wanted olives. :(

[–] [email protected] 137 points 1 week ago (4 children)

You know how they say "kids are resilient" but really it leads to them needing therapy as adults?

I'm convinced a lot of the random physical pains of old age are the delayed effects of those childhood injuries we jumped up from and immediately forgot.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Children's bones are more flexible since they are still growing. So they are able to take a beating more than adults.

That is why kicking toddlers is fine! /s

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

"someday, I want to go to the moon!"

"why wait?" punts

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A buddy of mine was talking to his doctor not long after he turned 50 and he was complaining about some random pain. The doctor told him "You know all that stupid stuff you did when you were younger? That's what hurts now."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

I’m dubious if a doctor would say that. That could be dismissing types of arthritis that has nothing to do with injury.

Additionally some injuries don’t just immediately stop hurting when you are young. They can linger and get more fragile as you’re older.

The ones that don’t hurt later like stubbing toes, sure. That is realistic. Getting mowed by a car, not so much.that would stick with you.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Partially so, but a lot of adult pain is due to bad posture, and weak muscles from lack of exercise. (Weak muscles don't directly result in pain, but it does mean that stuff like "looking in the mailbox weird", or sneezing, or lifting something off the floor can result in stuff going wrong.)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

That is 100% the truth.

[–] [email protected] 110 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (15 children)

I sneezed at an angle this morning and fucked my back up. Also, why the fuck does a large portion of my body and weight sit atop a single column of bones precariously cushioned by jelly and rubbery bits? And if said jelly/rubbery bits get squeezed a bit too hard, the bones smash nerves that control my fucking extremities?

Nature really fucked us.

[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Ah, see the warranty only covers you until you procreate.

From that point on, who cares if your body evolved to crumble into dust immediately after?

In fact kind of a lot of creatures literally die right after creating offspring.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So you're saying that so long as I don't have kids I can live as recklessly as I like and claim the damage on warranty?

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Oh. Nonono. Just until you could have had kids.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not even when you could responsibility have kids. Honestly, it's all downhill once you're like 12-14.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Some really unlucky people peak at 14 but for the vast majority the peak will hit in their early thirties. For those who prioritize sleep, play, and socializing that peak is a plateau until about 50.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago

This is why we Asexuals live forever.

Mortal skill issue.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

I think the warranty stretches a little further. You also need to live long enough to ensure your offspring become moderately self sufficient, but anything above 30 is definitely buyer beware

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So many poor "design choices" in human anatomy. (Note, I know there's no intelligent design).

The optic nerve. External testicles. Lack of decent fur. The way some nerves and blood vessels are routed make zero sense. An immune system that often wants to kill you. The list goes on. I'm sure a biologist or medical person could add plenty more. Many animals have some of these traits, too. If some trait or process is just barely good enough, nature will chug along with it for millions of years. Nature is all about some redneck engineering.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

External* testicles are legit really cool though, they change their distance from your body to regulate temperature

*they also can and will retract all the way inside your body if it’s cold enough

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sloths and elephants don't seem to have trouble with their internal testes.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Maybe they regulate better. Just ice your balls so they pop inside then just sloth around so you don't break a sweat and drop your balls

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Using the same tube for breathing and eating is a classic (I type while choking on my tea)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Good catch, I forgot that one! And the other classic is having waste excreting plumbing and reproductive plumbing all bunched together.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Anyone who’s routed network cables can tell the spine is rookie work

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

I’ve spent a lot of time under false floors, routing cables in overhead trays, and neatly configuring cables in server racks so nothing gets pinched.

Nature is a fucking amateur.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

A horrible thought I heard once and can never get out of my mind:

Our bodies originally had horizontal spines and everything hung down from it. Now we hold our spines vertically, but the internals now all hang wrong.

No idea if true (seems like it's simplifying eons of evolution), but it makes me very uncomfortable imagining it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It's not very true. Our bodies work fine for a good long time. It may be the cause of some of the problems we get as we age though

Incidentally I have heard (no idea whether it was folk stories or science) that kids who don't crawl (some roll and drag themselves and learn to walk very early) get bad backs young

Most of the great apes are more or less upright much of the time

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Nature: Bro, it’s fine. All the other animals will think you’re smarter if you stand up straight. You’ll look really cool too, all tall and hairless and shit. Chicks love that stuff.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Can't wait for zero-g retirement homes :)

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I'm 50, and a back injury from my 20s is like "Bonjour my friend, we meet again, ho ho!" It does come back to haunt you.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Weirdly, my back injury also has a cartoonish French accent.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I always picture my injuries speaking to me in a French accent.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm 53 and some of my pains have totally disappeared.

Neck used to lock if I twisted my head just right while looking in the mirror. Walked around for 3 days at a time like C3PO. Knee blew out. Broke my femur and that hurt on and off for 10-years. None of that now. Weird.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

we need to steal this guys blood

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

I feel that. I fell on one of my knees on the ice when I was in middle school, and it aches pretty regularly and clicks like a zip drive when I walk.

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Exercise everyday, then you at least know you are the cause of your pains.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Light weightlifting and stretching really helped me my back pain.

Do it correctly and consistently. I only go like 2 or 3 times a week. It also helps me sleep better.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Only" 2 or 3 times a week is 2 or 3 times more than most people. Don't do yourself an injustice, you're doing great - carry on.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thank you. I truly appreciate your words.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

It's more than that. You need a chance for your body to recoup. People exercising hard more than 3 times in six days are doing themselves damage

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Yep I'm on a fairly serious routine but not overboard, basically got it down to about 45min sessions 3/4 times a week (every other day kind of), and I feel better than in my 20s!

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

A few weeks ago, I was lying in bed. Literally all I was doing was moving to turn and I pulled a muscle in my leg. Getting old fucking sucks.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I woke up with horrible neck pain because apparently I did that thing I've been doing every day for my entire life, sleeping, wrong.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

See that's where you went wrong. You gotta sleep right. Train your subconscious to not... Who am I kidding, I'm in the same boat. I now have an alarm an hour before I need to get up just so I can take some motrin. Gives it enough time to kick in so I can get up with less pain.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I simply used my arm to grab something light within my reach and my back buckled. Now I've had sciatica for seven weeks. Piriformis syndrome is no fucking joke! Fuck the human body!

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