this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2024
1100 points (98.2% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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[–] [email protected] 170 points 1 week ago

Oh fuck... It's so stupid it's smart.

[–] [email protected] 115 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I don’t trust the liberal science agenda so I did my own research. Using some back-of-the-napkin math and my telescope, I’m now blind from looking at the sun through a telescope. This is being transcribed by my trad wife. My results:

2 > 1

This one checks out, folks.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You must be a terrorist because that's MUSLIM MATH! Those are not Christian numbers and feel it necessary to report this comment to the FBI, the Federal Biblical Investigators.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How's this instead: II > I

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What, you don't believe in the Nemesis hypothesis?

Because that would bring it up to... hang on, let me get my calculator...

Two stars in the solar system.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fascinating proposal, professor. Thankfully I can adjust my equations quite easily:

2 ≥ 2

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

There is not a single thing about this comment chain that doesn't bring me joy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Thank you for your service.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

As someone who worked in a gas station for 24 years..

sigh

I’d do it. I’d suck it up. I’d make some damn good friends along the way and then I’d never maintain those friendships and feel guilty for the rest of rest of my life. “Just call him, dipshit. He’s going through a divorce! Just go fishing! Pleaaassse! Ok, here goes. Tomorrow.”

Always tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is one of the most fascinating comments I've ever encountered on Lemmy

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You’re fascinating. 😘

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

We should be best friends. 👊

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I have no idea how I ended up here. Swear to god I was on the post about the trolley, saving people, and small talk. No shit. Never even seen this post.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago

This happened to me once too. The Lemmy gods brought you here. You are now a part of the meme

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (3 children)

As God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly. We've all been there.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I saw that post right below this one.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And now I’ve posted it in the correct location.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

No this post was the correct location. Don’t second guess yourself. You were always meant to be here!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You got me. Had to whatever the thought equivalent of double take is.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

In Paris they have the metric system, so they call it the Royal.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

With… cheese?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

If i had fallen for it, i would have had a quarter ponder :)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Had yourself a thinkythink

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 week ago

I love this because even though I read the words, I interpreted it to mean something else for a second. (atoms and galaxy) Be careful when you read things and don't assume you know something.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Not if you count Taylor Swift

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago

Mmm... Yeah!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is the joke that there is only one star in our solar system? The sun?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

yes, ... and only 2 hydrogen atoms in a molecule of water (H2O)

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Second time i see this, still funny :)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Made me think for a second.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (8 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago
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