this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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god I hate living in utah everyone here is mormon

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

“Ok, everyone take your clothes off. We’re gonna shotgun some beers and then do butt stuff”

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Can people who already sin join?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

b-but the bible says premarital sex is the second worse thing to murder! we all need to get married to each other first, then the butt stuff.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s not sex, it’s butt stuff. Shut up and chug another beer

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Let's actually knock two birds off with one stone, lemme grab a funnel.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

This guy knows how to party. I’ll get the zip ties and duct tape.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

ive met quite a few mormons who drink monster/red bull instead of coffee because the scripture doesn’t say anything about energy drinks. always found that interesting (in the most neutral way possible)

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

yeah, it's all stupid arbitrary rules. you aren't allowed to drink any form of tea either. it also says any form of premarital sex is the second worse sin to murder. and of course there's all the stuff they like to ignore, like the stuff about not divorcing or anything that doesn't align with their business ideals of making money off the members

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

nah bubble tea is fine because it's trendy

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

byu actually does have a bubble tea shop, but they make it without any real tea

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

real talk they have been trying to talk my argentine mormon aunt into giving up her matcha and it just makes her laugh

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I believe the wording is "drinks which burn the throat" which naturally means:

  • ❌ Coffee
  • ❌ Alcoholic drinks
  • ❌ Coca Cola
  • ❌ Hot tea
  • ❌ Chai lattes
  • ✅ Sprite, other non-caffeinated soft drinks
  • ✅ Hot Chocolate
  • ✅ Kombucha
  • ✅ Energy drinks???
  • ✅ Herbal Tea (even while hot, but mostly if you're sick as a home remedy)

Most of the focus is interpreted as "contains caffeine and/or alcohol" but the wording is vague enough that it leaves for a lot of weird wiggle room people try to argue (based on convenience usually). It's quite silly

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

I have the first priesthood. they never say cocaine is a sin only that it's unwise. I never claimed to be wise.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 weeks ago

"Shadow, it's me, the Devil. I'm here to convince you to do sin."

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Good luck bringing the good word of sin to those poor lacking people of Utah.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I think I may be able to manage, just depends on the individual in question :)

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

And do always remember to tell them that even some mild sinning can be INSANELY FUN!!! 🥳

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I cohabitated with my girlfriend for 5 years. We're happily married now. One of the first things she did was make a cross stitch that says "No longer living in sin" with our anniversary on it.

It's beautiful.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

The only place where if you're offered uncut coke, you have to ask which kind.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

She made a promise to god, which I intend to break.