Oh, I thought this was going to be about refurbishing and reselling horses.
this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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My expectation was that one might rotate an equine on an axis other than yaw.
Like drink the beer, and then flip the horse.
I'm going to use this as a confusion-inducing insult:
Yeah whatever, horse flipper.
'It's got solid bones, but the inside's a mess'
'We're gonna have to gut it'
Side-eyeing-Chloe.jpg
I'd watch that show
So I read it and thought oh I read that wrong what the hell is a horse-flipper how would you do that?
Then I read the rest of the question and was like oh wow I was right the first time but also still wrong because I thought they meant the verb instead of the noun.
I thought it was for people that flip off horses for no reason, they just don't like 'em.
Well...spit... growing up on the ranch we had between 13 to 18 horses around all the time. Everything from Arabians to some workhorses.
Now we only shoed them in late summer for the fall when we were working cattle.
Now swimming is an interesting topic. During the hot days in the summer we would hop on a few hoses bareback and race across in the ponds.
You would think the massive workhorses with their oversized hooves would win. Poweful, strong animals with big flippers on the bottom. Unfortunately they were the slowest in the water. They were stiff and inflexible, dumb and slow. They tended to swim a few feet, decide it was too much work, turn around and find some nice grass to eat.
Now the Arabians with the smaller stature and dainty little hooves were by far the fastest in the water. The fastest was horse named ugly. He was a swayed back ill tempered little guy with a massive chip on his shoulder. He just had to be first everywhere. He was almost as vicious as the Spawn of Satan aka "Shetland pony". Now Spawn of Satan didn't like the water because brimstone and water don't go together so we never got him to swim.
What's curious is after they were shod and their hoofs trimmed down, they all seemed a wee bit faster. I guess the smaller hoof works better for their swimming mechanism.
Edit: Turns out, the above farm-life comment is a fabricated fantasy tale.
+++=======//=======+++
Thanks for sharing your lived experience. Your characterisations of each horse gave me a good laugh.
That is very interesting that they would be quicker after being shod. Not sure why that would be. Less apprehensive of kicking something underwater perhaps.
I don't know what accent you intended to communicate, but I definitely heard it in my head
I thought he was a fraud until he spit.
That was the first thing he did. You might have trust issues.
That "Well..." just didn't ring true.
LMAO. I did have some fun making this one up. Like any good but fiction it's a mixture of facts and fabrications to make it believable.
Well...spit... growing up on the ranch we had between 13 to 18 horses around all the time. Everything from Arabians to some workhorses.
100% true. I even sent a nice loogie to get into character.
Now we only shoed them in late summer for the fall when we were working cattle.
Partially true - we shoed them in late summer as it was our pack train for guided hunts etc. we only used the 3 quarter horses to work cattle with. Those we kept shoed year round.
Now swimming is an interesting topic. During the hot days in the summer we would hop on a few hoses bareback and race across in the ponds.
Fabrication. The ponds were all spring fed and came out of the ground at 40F. The ponds held a 50F temperature all summer. Nobody swam in them other than a few dares. We did stock them with trout.
You would think the massive workhorses with their oversized hooves would win. Poweful, strong animals with big flippers on the bottom. Unfortunately they were the slowest in the water. They were stiff and inflexible, dumb and slow. They tended to swim a few feet, decide it was too much work, turn around and find some nice grass to eat.
This is one of my better fabrications. I used the personality of the Belgium's we had. They were slow and powerful and always eating. However I never once saw them swim. We used them for trail clearing and pack horses in the woods.
Now the Arabians with the smaller stature and dainty little hooves were by far the fastest in the water. The fastest was horse named ugly. He was a swayed back ill tempered little guy with a massive chip on his shoulder. He just had to be first everywhere. He was almost as vicious as the Spawn of Satan aka "Shetland pony". Now Spawn of Satan didn't like the water because brimstone and water don't go together so we never got him to swim.
Mix of fabrication and truth. Ugly was an smaller appaloosa whose name started out as chief. So we called him Chief Ugly then just Ugly. The Spawn of Satan was really called "Cookie" but if you know anything ponies the Spawn of Satan is more apt.
What's curious is after they were shod and their hoofs trimmed down, they all seemed a wee bit faster. I guess the smaller hoof works better for their swimming mechanism.
Total bullshit. I have no idea what makes a horse swim faster or not.
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God dammit.....I gave you a good faith upvote, and then clicked the video for what I assumed would be an amazing horse swimming video.
..........dammit Rick Astley! Stop dressing up like a unicorn!
Instructions unclear, there is now a banana in my ear.
...I miss old youtube.
You are the bo-nana king.
He doesn't need flippers if he rides the magical leopluridon.
Goddammit you got my hopes up
This gave me some serious flashbacks but I've no idea when or why I would have watched it
Hehe, thanks Charlie.
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seahorse intensifies
Incredible. I have no idea, but I love this post. Keep it up.
Thanks, when showerthoughts take on a life of their own.
Flippers wouldn't help really given how horses actually swim, they kind of kick back with each of they're legs in a sequence similar to a trot. Their hooves already have a bit of a hollow which likely helps with swimming. Honestly though horses are pretty good swimmers, because they have huge lungs which helps them stay afloat with ease
Regular flippers would not help.
But some little hinged wings on the sides of each hoof could work.
They fold down on the upstroke flat against the hoof, then fold out horizontal with the downstroke.
I could never imagine a horse swimming
Luckily with the magic of the internet, your imagination need not be an issue.
You can just see them!
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Me, wondering how much money you can make buying horses on the low and reselling them with a fresh coat of paint: 🤡
Same! First thought the title was a typo!
Give em some of these withe the neck rest. Imagine amphibious roman chariots. Or a horse powered pontoon boat.
There's a lot of cool images here https://liberalarts.tamu.edu/nautarch/nwl/lake-champlain-projects/hoofbeats-over-the-water-ina-research-on-horse-powered-ferryboats/
They are cool images, what a concept!
I did not previously know that horse-treadmill-ferries were a thing.
This is the exact question this subredd- er, community, excuse me, was made for
I think you’d have better luck with a small, rear-mounted outboard motor.
Thanks for the incredibly funny mental picture!
In historic times, people knew horses were land animals. So, I expect we will see this invention in about two more weeks.
I'm doubtful that giving a horse flippers would even help them swim considering how long their legs are.
And the movement they make doesn’t benefit from flippers.
Humans can shift their body forward and kick their legs which flippers can amplify.
Wait tho. That two-legged rear kick thing horses do may just need a uni-fin mermaid thing to create a true sea speed stallion.
I was trying to figure out what they meant by swimming houses for a minute.
I think my neighbor has a horse? I guess I could ask.
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