this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
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A man with a facial disfigurement says he was asked to leave a restaurant in south London because staff said he was "scaring the customers". 

Oliver Bromley has Neurofibromatosis Type 1, a genetic condition that causes non-cancerous tumours to grow on his nerves.

Speaking to the BBC, he said when he had gone to place an order at a restaurant in Camberwell, staff told him there had been complaints about him.

"It's a horrible thing to happen. I took it very personally on the day," he said.

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[–] [email protected] 242 points 1 month ago (3 children)

He said they had told him that although it was a hate crime, it was "unlikely" officers could pursue it further.

That's messed up.

[–] [email protected] 149 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Welcome to British policing.

"We have determined that this was indeed a hate crime, and therefore we'll be doing nothing. But if it happens two more times we'll congratulate them on the hat trick and offer to enroll them in the police academy."

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (3 children)

America learned everything we know from England.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

Living in Europe I have to constantly remind ppl that American racism is just European racism with better access to guns

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I mean, the sad part is that Britain policing started out with some really good ideas. It's actually worth reading Robert Peel's principles of policing by consent sometime. They are an incredible blueprint for how to create a police force that serves the people.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Like taxation without representation

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

The paragraph after is golden:

The Met confirmed to the BBC that officers had visited Mr Bromley about the incident and that although no arrests had been made, the force took "reports of hate crime seriously".

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[–] [email protected] 153 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I’ll take a restaurant full of disfigured people over 1 misbehaving toddler.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

As a parent of younger kids, we're sorry. We come armed with as many activities as possible and will take our kids outside if they're too excited until food gets to the table. That will help them focus on eating.

We very rarely went out to eat when they were toddlers due to fear of our kids bothering others and understand that our desire to experience some level of normalcy shouldn't come at the expense of others.

All that said, if the parents are trying to keep their kids occupied, please extend some grace. Being a parent can be extremely isolating and we're simply trying to pretend like we still get to do normal things once in a while.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

This is fine, and we thank you for your efforts.

What were talking about here is a rogue crotch spawn running around or under tables, occupied or not, and generally acting like they're in their own living room rather than a shared community space.

Honestly IMO if you can keep them at the table, I can put up with the noise. Sure, it's annoying, but so are kids. It's a package deal. And everyone was a kid at one point in time and therefore has no excuse to complain too loudly. That's reserved for when I have to drag a screeching rug rodent out from under my chair and haul it back to the absentee sperm and egg donors.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Haha, our kids do go under our table at times but they know not to go under other people's tables.

I don't have much tolerance for absentee parenting either, especially if the kids wind up seeking attention from others, by say going under someone else's table, because they're not getting enough attention from their own parents.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

If you’re trying, the ire isn’t for you. It’s for the shitty parents that feel entitled to not teach their children to behave, don’t feel it’s their job to or act like they are a victim of a life choice and take it out on the child or others. There are plenty of those type out there and I’m sure you don’t want to be lumped in with those ones, you also don’t have to defend them.

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[–] [email protected] 139 points 1 month ago (18 children)

Then don't look at him? The man was just trying to eat. Poor guy.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

I feel so bad for this guy. Imagine the shit he has to put up with all the time. I used to work with a lady who had a big tumor on her face. She was so sweet, but I'm sure she had to put up with all kinds of horrible shit. I honestly really liked her. I would have asked her out if I hadn't been in a relationship because we got along really well. I don't care if you have a big tumor on your face. I'll get used to it after I've seen you for more than a minute or two.

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[–] [email protected] 117 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wouldn’t want to look at that while I was eating… SO I WOULD AVOID STARING AT HIM. Complaining about the guy is not the answer. Self control and respect are.

[–] [email protected] 81 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

The article says he thinks there wasn’t enough time for someone to complain, the restaurant staff was using it as an excuse.

“He said: "After entering I noticed a cash-only sign, so went straight back outside to withdraw my money.

"I went back into the restaurant to place an order, and they told me to 'please leave', because in their words I was 'scaring the customers', and there had been complaints about me."

He added: "There had not been enough time between the time I had been there first, and the time I went back, for anyone to have made a complaint about me so obviously the restaurant staff were not happy with the way I looked." “

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Yeah, I read the article. I was just imagining a hypothetical situation where he and I were eating in the same restaurant.

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[–] [email protected] 97 points 1 month ago

I know judging people on their appearances isn't right, and he shouldn't have been kicked out regardless of what he looked like.

... but it doesn't even look that bad? Like, "I've got one eye and a skin condition", is that really what the restaurant is willing to kick people out for?

Hope he gets some sort of justice out of this.

[–] [email protected] 96 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Some people are just determined to make it difficult to believe humanity is worth saving.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Whats the UKs disability rights laws look like? Hope he takes em to task for their discrimination.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (6 children)

On paper, the Equality Act 2010 is great in a bunch of ways. In practice, it's exceedingly difficult for the average person to pursue justice through it. I imagine the barrier is similar to how it works in the US, except the UK has way less of a litigation culture.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They don't want to look at that guy's ugly face? I bet it looks nicer than their ugly minds.

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago

See, Britain just needs Ugly Laws, like what America had up until 1974! Then they could just have the guy arrested!

In all seriousness what the fuck. What goes through a person’s head that they think treating someone that way is even remotely okay?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

It seems that some British hate handicapped/disfigured people. Just read this article about a kid in a wheelchair being excluded from the school photo. https://www.theguardian.com/education/2024/mar/29/aberdeenshire-pupils-with-complex-needs-erased-from-school-photo

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/apr/04/school-photos-disabled-children

or people complaining about seeing a tv host with a missing arm. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2011/feb/21/tv-presenter-cerrie-burnell

It's just good old British Classism that never went away.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Don't all countries have this problem?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

To some degree. Never heard of handicapped kids being excluded from school photos in my country though.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

And if you were asked to leave in the US because of a facial disfigurement you could fully expect to have a business closing lawsuit won against you in no time at all. Wa are as litigious AF for better or worse, usually worse.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Maybe it's just where I was raised, but I don't see this at all in my day to day life in the US. Things have come a very long way.

I'm sure there are still things that are shitty that I probably wouldn't notice as I'm not in that position... But in general, most people here don't seem to give a shit these days.

To be clear, I'm not referring to classism. That still exists to a degree, though it's mostly been supplanted by racism.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's just horrible. And wtf is this "Yes it's a crime but what can we do?" bullshit. Man I feel sorry for that guy. No body deserves to be treated that way. He just wanted to have a nice night out. Fuck that restaurant.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago

That's fucked.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He said they had told him that although it was a hate crime, it was "unlikely" officers could pursue it further.

But when someone shop lifts from a corporation, here come the cops running

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Fuck that restaurant, everyone is too "ugly" to eat there. I can think of many DC restaurants that would love to serve them.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

just... put him on his good side.

/s

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