this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
1017 points (98.1% liked)

The Onion

4698 readers
842 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
[email protected]
1017
Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money (www.theonion.com)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
121 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 190 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don’t you fucking tempt me

[–] [email protected] 100 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To quote the article,

just do it—do it right now.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ok fine. Wait I don't have a PS5 and now I don't have a job. Dang it.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can come use mine and I'll use you as inspiration to quit.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You can come use mine and I’ll use you

🤔

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 year ago

Please don't tempt me, I am barely holding on.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I've made it 9 months since I quit.

Lotta chicken and rice but I thought I'd take my retirement before I die in the food wars

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Bruh, I aim to the water wars. That's starting next year, I believe.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Hmm that's an interesting chicken or egg problem. Which will come first, the food wars or the water wars?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've been jobless for around 2 years now because of depression and shit, finally got back into working and I hate myself for not starting up my world of warcraft career back up. I could be a wow king by now 🙃😂

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If that doesn't work there's always plan b: drinking yourself to death

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Following in smashmouth guy's footsteps, brave

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hey now

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You’re an all-star

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (7 children)

Definitely do this, except replace playstation with heroin.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For real. Who has money for a PS5?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (6 children)

i did this last winter; i firmly believe everyone has and needs slovenly unemployment periods to remind you of the perils of not working [but in equal measure, the bliss of not working and the amount of luxury you can just coast on]

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I'm doing this right now. It's the first time in 10 years I haven't had someplace I needed to be 5 days a week. It's really changing my perspective on what I need out of a job and what I could be improving in my life if I weren't spending that time working.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So I can quit my job and play PS5 for 15 minutes?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

If only I had a PS5...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Literally what I have been doing since last month. I made it a bit more challenging by going on a vacation for a week too.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (5 children)

The guy in the picture is not playing FIFA. If he was he'd be frowning and smashing his controller

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Look at mr moneybags over here who can afford a ps5 and a 4k tv

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›