this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2024
356 points (92.0% liked)

Asklemmy

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Edit: Wow, this really blew up. Thanks for the updoots, kind strangers.

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[–] [email protected] 185 points 1 month ago (11 children)
[–] [email protected] 152 points 1 month ago

Wow, really well said. Extremely important that everyone reads this info above

Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 month ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago

I don't have real money, but you deserve this ⭐

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[–] [email protected] 145 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 month ago
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[–] [email protected] 133 points 1 month ago (12 children)

I have a 14 year old device with a very obscure problem, does anyone have a solution for this?

[–] [email protected] 166 points 1 month ago (3 children)

This comment has been edited in protest to reddit's decision to bully 3rd party apps into closure. If you want to do the same, you can find instructions here: http://notepad.link/share/TAk4RNJIb3vmhROVfGPV

[–] [email protected] 122 points 1 month ago

This worked perfectly, thanks!

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I have this problem too!

Edit: Nevermind. Fixed it.

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[–] [email protected] 124 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Hit Facebook, gym up and delete the lawyer

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[–] [email protected] 120 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You post was automatically removed for not following the requirements listed in our wiki. Please find the wiki yourself because it is not linked anywhere. In particular, your post does not meet the following requirements:

  • Section 1, paragraph 3, subsection B
  • Section 18, paragraph 5, subsection AAB
  • Section 35, paragraph 1: uploading a photo* with timestamp†

* see approved photo hosts

† see ISO 8601

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[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sexy sexitors of sexxit, how do you sexily sex sex?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Do you have a good sourdough recipe?

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[–] [email protected] 101 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Sorry, your post was removed because your account doesn’t meet the requirements.

Your account must be at least 1 month old and have at least 10 karma.

Thanks.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago
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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro.

CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed.

Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh.

Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now, so I'll be in my bunk with dat ass. Oh, you! ...now KISS!!! I know you should never stick your dick in crazy, but DM;HS.

...this kills the redditor.

OP will surely deliver. In the meantime, I'll show myself out.

Directed by M. Night Shamallama

edit: accidentally a word

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Please don't ask me how I managed to take this picture... http://i.imgur.com/TAXdG.jpg

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How did you manage to take this picture?

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 66 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I also choose this man's dead wife.

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago

I'm a leftist but I think insert fascist opinion here

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Here have this award. πŸ‘οΈβ€πŸ—¨οΈ

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago

Thanks for the stranger, kind gold.

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Would have upvoted but it was at 69

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (12 children)
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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Here's a story told entirely from my point of view, edited to make me look good. Am I the asshole?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

NTA your house your rules.

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ahh, the ole reddit switcharoo

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 1 month ago (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago (7 children)

This is a repost from half a year ago OP is a karma farming bot

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 month ago

I too choose this guy's dead wife.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

... And my axe!

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (7 children)

You've been banned from r/Pyongyang

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago

RemindMe! 3y β€œreply to this thread”.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (6 children)
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Not all heroes wear capes.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Look, I think it’s important to state here that while you can often offer prompts to strangers with no ill effect, 7% of strangers are DEATHLY ALLERGIC to prompts. I know it’s fun to give your strangers prompts sometimes, but I urge you all NOT to give prompts to strangers or you run the very real risk of harming them seriously.

Signed, A strangerologist

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)

YOUR POST HAS BEEN REMOVED

Your post has been removed for violating Rule 3.14159: All posts must adhere to the Pythagorean Theorem, ensuring that the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides. Failure to comply with this fundamental geometric principle will result in immediate banishment from our hallowed domain.

Please be advised that this is a strict enforcement of our community guidelines. As a consequence of your transgression, your post has been removed, and you have been permanently banned from participating in our discussions.

We trust that you will heed this warning and strive to uphold the integrity of our community in the future. May your digital journey be filled with enlightenment and adherence to the Pythagorean Theorem.”

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (5 children)
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