!egg_irl is for widely relatable memes about questioning one's gender or being an egg (a trans person in denial) as well as other eggy topics.
If you are looking for a place to discuss something specific to you or especially if you need help or are in crisis, we have communities and resources that can support you linked at the bottom of this sidebar.
General Rules:
No bigotry.
No spam, bots, or vote farming.
Rules on Content:
No reposts.
No personal-life posts, bingo cards, quizzes, selfies, "trans/not trans" lists, picrew, or non-memes.
No visible names or usernames.
Do not post or link to pornography.
Rules on Post Titles and Tags:
Posts must be titled "egg_irl". An emoji or two is OK, but they have to be between "egg" and "irl".
Posts that assume the viewer's gender and/or contain potentially triggering content must be spoilered and tagged at the beginning of the post title. Example content-warning tags that you can copy include the following:
[CW: Assumes Viewer is Transmasc][CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem][CW: Assumes Viewer is Nonbinary][CW: Transphobia][CW: Violence][CW: Weapons/Firearms][CW: Disturbing Imagery]You may optionally include other tags, such as:
[Transmasc Meme][Transfem Meme][Nonbinary Meme][Gender-Nonspecific Meme]Rules on Post Text:
If possible, include an image description for accessibility.
Add sources for art.
Rules on Comments
If a post is tagged with a specific gender identity, keep the conversation centered on that identity.
You must follow the Egg Prime Directive. You may not push or coerce people into identifying or not identifying a certain way. You must respect them as the gender they claim to identify as. In addition it is extremely in poor taste to make assumptions about other people's identities based on external factors, we understand it cannot be helped but it is best not to as it can affect the way you treat others in noticeable ways.
Recommendations:
We strongly encourage you to include your pronouns in your account bio so that others know how to refer to you without misgendering you. If you're questioning or unsure of your pronouns, that's totally cool—just say so.
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It all worked out alright in the end :)
Hey folks, sorry but since this is old and due to controversial nature of the post regarding the Egg prime Directive, I've decided to lock it since it has recently attracted some unfriendly people, thank you for understanding.
I'm glad you cracked your egg this way, and maybe I'm reading into this too much, but I really don't like reinforcing the idea that any man who chooses the female player option in a video game must secretly be trans.
Every time I boot up Sonic Advance I play as Tails. That's partly because he has the best ability and partly because he's by far the cutest, and the only thing better than playing Sonic Advance is doing so while staring at that adorable bean. That doesn't mean I secretly want to see him when I look in the mirror.
Same. I gravitate towards female avatars for the most part, usually because I just like looking at them more.
Sometimes it's more game specific. Mass Effect, for example, the stock fem Shep is just the canonical version of the character in my head. Had a cooler and more relatable face design. And perhaps most importantly, default masc Shep just really looks like every dudebro I've ever disliked in person.
Yeah, everyone's got their preferences, fo sho.
Not to disagree with your general point, but the example you used kind of sucks. When neither of the options looks anything like you (or how you might want to look), and when they play differently, it's not really analogous to games where you make a purely cosmetic choice between male and female characters.
It's not reinforcing that idea. For the author of the comic, she played as women in games and later discovered she was one. You can play as whatever character you want to play as and it doesn't have to say anything about you.
I always played as girls and women in games when I had the choice. I also gravitated towards books with female protagonists. Like the author of the above comic, I also ended up discovering my womanhood and transitioning. This community, egg_irl, is for trans people. Nominally for memes to do with things we did before we came out that now make sense to us after the fact.
Whether the author intends to reinforce that idea or not, the comic itself (having one character say "Honest! I just like looking at women's asses better than men's!" while the other one says "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no I think you're trans") very much does.
Also the other character is committing blatant violations of the egg prime directive by deliberately questioning another person's gender identity in response to the person saying why they like doing something. This is extremely disrespectful to that person and dismisses their identity. The biggest problem is that even though this is describing something internal for the person, it is normalizing something which is disrespectful to the identities of others.
But okay, is it just the framing that's the issue here? Would the meme be fine if it depicted an internal dialogue by the creator? Is it purely an issue because of the existence of the friend character?
I'm assuming this to be the case based on what the sidebar shows as the "egg prime directive". Which in and of itself is a valid issue with the content. I think it's a pretty uncharitable interpretation, but yeah I can see how it normalizes that.
I think that it would be significantly better had it been framed as an internal dialogue rather than external criticism. It might still be a bit problematic if it phrases the reasons given as invalid, rather than just not what it is for them, because even though to many people it feels like they said something stupid, they weren't, those are valid, real reasons why people do it. The idea that the reasons aren't valid as opposed to being simply not the reasons for themself in their case is also not great in the same way.
It's possible that I'm reading it differently, but I see the reasons being portrayed not as invalid in and of themselves, but rather as being weak attempts at excusing their own actual motivations for playing as girls and women.
I also didn't play as female characters because of their clothing options or their appearance being more aesthetically appealing. It was in fact because I wanted to be perceived and acknowledged as a girl and that was the closest it was permissible for me to get. I definitely expressed excuses at times for it as well. I think this is actually a very common experience for transfeminine people. Not universal, nor does it mean those things have any innate value.
I guess it can be interpreted differently by different people. Though I do feel that at least in the original communities it is posted in on Reddit and Twitter it's very likely it'll be read as invalid or a poor excuse in general, rather than them covering their own motivations. I say that because in the Reddit versions (and a tiny bit the Twitter versions as well) there is generally more of a sentiment that gender non-conformity is a "sign" or are "signs" and they generally are very dismissive of reasons like the ones given. They have a poor record of following the egg prime directive and I have in fact seen on r/traa2 people blatantly shit talking it and saying they would never follow it 😬.
So while I do get that there can be different interpretations, a generalized one (the not so great one) and a personalized one (the better one) I do recognize the communities they were originally posted to on Reddit and Twitter, and I do know which ones they tend to gravitate towards.
Fuck you, hiding behind the Egg prime directive so you can deny trans people the ability to break out of their eggs, you should be ashamed of yourself whoever made you a mod of a trans friendly space should be ashamed of themselves, you're not even trans you have no right to determine whether we are valid or not. Fuck you hiding behind vague ass ideology. LET TRANS PEOPLE HELP OUT EGGS IN DENIAL!
The funny part is that I didn't actually play female characters when I was younger. I'd go for longer hair and androgynous features, but I thought I had to make my character look how I looked at the time. I was honestly resistant to ever playing as a woman, because I thought I should only play as my AGAB.
The fact that I didn't play femme before made me doubt myself for the longest time. I didn't have The Signs^TM^, so I was just faking it. Turned out that my inability to recognize my own emotions was to blame. I feel gender dysphoria as exceptional discomfort and unhappiness with no obvious source. I felt like I didn't belong, but had no idea that being a girl could fix that for me. I only rarely connected the dots on what upset me and didn't get a hint at the larger picture till I was an adult.
Even though I didn't experience the comic, it did touch on why I didn't play as a girl: imagined judgement. The friend probably doesn't mean anything by his comment, with Paxiti only imagining him calling her an egg. It could even be that the friend isn't a person, but a reflection of how she imagines society will judge her.
In truth, dudes love riffing on their friends for not conforming like that, not because they think anything of it, but because they don't. It took me years to understand that there was usually no hidden meaning and you're just supposed to act like it's meaningless as well. If you take it to heart, then they find it weird. I feel comforted when I talk openly about my feelings, but male dominated social groups often find that scary. It's not universal, but in larger groups, it becomes nearly impossible to have personal conversations.
Games where I wanna project myself on the character I make the character look like me (or at least how I imagine myself).
But some games, especially MMOs, I like to make my character look wacky or attention grabbing.
If i could make my character look like Leon Kennedy, then i play male. If they are more masculine than that, i play female usually. Justice for my Twink and Femboy brethren!
Seriously i wish we had more body options in games and more androgenous faces.
I get mad at games where they have separate clothes for male and female characters.
I love that in bg3 all the clothes are fine for all, though some when worn by a male are only shorts or trousers also have some upper clothes when worn by a female
Unfortunately there are no skirts, no dresses, a few robes
Would be more accurate in the other direction.
Women identify with their avatar far more than Men.
I literally don't want my avatar to represent reality in any way because it's supposed to be escapism.
She is a woman though.
In FPS, where I don't see the character, I usually pick men. But in the 2nd person games, always women. Because, yeah... I'd rather stare at a woman's backside for several hours than a man's.
It's silly to make some Freudian thing out of it. I play black characters in some games; it doesn't mean I secretly identify as black.
It doesn't have to be a thing, but it can be a thing.
That is such a generally true assertion.
For what it's worth: there are very very very few 2nd person games out there. What you mean is 3rd person games.
Never understood the 'I prefer to stare at girl ass than guy ass" argument. You're playing a video game, if you're staring at your own character most of the time probably not doing much playing.
If it's a 3rd person game, your character's ass is always there right in the center of the screen...
If Devs put that much effort in making games visually appealing, I should be able to choose the character that I find the most visually appealing to go with it. It shouldn't be that controversial.
Listen, we play in third person. What's front and center on your screen the entire time you're playing?
If by "front and center" you mean in the lower quarter of the screen...
It's posturing. Guys gotta prove they have the not-gays.
Yes, as we proceed to play dress up with the more outfit options.
It's better to prove that you're the gayest person there anyhow 😝
Now your getting it 😜
Maybe being bi is an influence on this, but I almost always play females when possible because, most of the time, the male characters are so overly masculine and that doesn't appeal to me. Androgynous qualities are always what I've looked for when character customization is possible. In those cases I will sometimes play a male character, unless the customization is not varied enough (looking at you fallout 4) but when customization sucks or isn't an option, I'll go female every time.
And yes, if sex/romance is possible in the game I will slut it up with everyone I possibly can. Best of both worlds babyyyyyyy!
Edit: To give clarity on the line between too masc/fem, If you had the option to play as Zelda or Link in botw/totk, I'd play as Link (yes I know that playing as Zelda wouldn't make sense, just go with me here.) So while I'm not egg, I think what I am taking way too long to say is I understand and support everyone's decisions for their character choice in a game (even if it's just to peep that badonk)
It really is about the cute asses.
Nobody wants the overly agitated guys hiding their insecurities behind aggressive behaviour and ridiculously "manly" outfit.
Big muscly men in manly outfits with aren't all bad to look at 😋
Really wish paxiti would move to bluesky
Something important to remember is that even though the intention with games like that is to identify with the character you're creating people don't often play games as they are intended (if they did would modding games be as popular as it is?). So the argument framed in the 4th panel, despite it being framed as invalid or shaky is actually a valid argument because if people are using mechanics in ways that aren't intended, then it's only natural this would be one of them. Let's face it, not everyone identifies with the characters in the game and they may want to satiate their attraction rather than to identify as the character, this is a common sentiment in 3rd person games where the character is being looked at from the outside, AKA a perspective that isn't you.
Another thing about this is aesthetics, because people can like things that are seen as feminine without actually being girls, people like this who identify as male are femboys, and they are valid as they identify. Unfortunately most games out there which have the courtesy to offer the luxury of character creation, don't offer gender-nonconformity as well. So this is another reason to violate intended use case. So 2 and 3 are very much valid use cases.
All in all this isn't the worst thing but I'm not really a fan. There's many reasons someone can use avatars in games that are different from their own sex and gender, the way this is framed makes it seem like it automatically means that you must be trans. In addition this mentality is a double standard since it obviously never applied to the many female gamers before gender selection was implemented as widely as it is now, I mean them playing as a boy doesn't make them a boy now does it. Also the attitude of "oh ho ho that's not very cis of you" does not come across as respecting the egg prime directive very much, but also at the same time doesn't come across as outright disrespecting it.