409
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 68 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Put it by the deli counter for the trifecta.

[-] [email protected] 57 points 1 month ago

Dolphins? Couches? Potato salad? Does this guy just go around sticking his dick in stuff?

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

I saw that there reports he didn't fuck a couch, then someone shared an interview where he said he did... Did Republicans even try to dig shit on this guy?!?!

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

They had to retract that report, because they could not verify that he’s not a sectional predator.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

He's a disgusting pillowphile!

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Where’s that interview??

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

He didn't fuck the couch, to completion

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

“If this gonna be that kinda party, imma stick my dick in the mashed potatoes”

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Those potatoes weren't mashed when someone put them on the table.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

B boys makin wit da freak freak

[-] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

sample was originally from Sanford and son?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Okay what's the potato salad thing?

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

He's just an ambulatory version of the "Instructions Unclear" meme.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I read his book. It read about like he just shoved his dick in a typewriter and flopped it around for a few hundred pages.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Back in my day, that would have been impossible without some kind of penile injury as you probably would have needed to slam that thang pretty good on every key. People now-a-days are spoiled because their keyboards are so sensitive. You could even sneeze and type something from a microphone type writer.

[-] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago

I thought you said JD was dead? No, I said he sleeps with the fishes

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

He did it on porpoise.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago

I don't use twitter so can't verify, but here is the apparent post people are making fun of him over. The claim is that the words "woman" and "dolphin" being bolded are signs that he searched for those terms.

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Hmmmmm. That's uh... Sure I'll take it.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If yes, would it make him more relatable or even more disgusting?

And would you be surprised if it were real?

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Well he does give off The Deep vibes

[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

More like he gives off Tek-knight vibes.

He'll fuck anything with a hole, like a couch.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Being tricked into downloading 6 gigs of dolphin porn still remains one of my favorite 4chan pranks.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

What happens behind closed doors between a man, a dolphin, a couch, several firearms, and a copy of Mein Kampf is personal and private.

Gay people? Oh no, that’s not a thing. Maybe if men had the smooth, supple feel of Corinthian leather, I would understand.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Does nobody remember dolphinsex.org?

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

The people behind that aren't running for VP

Unless... Did he run that site?

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Yes, I know for a fact that he ran that site. Tell your friends.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Holy shit! That’s crazy, I will.

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Damn, he's the real world version of The Deep.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:

https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/

Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I heard that he allegedly ran the website dolphinsex.org for a short while.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Hi! I'm Troy Mclure. Wow, this one really takes me back.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Sometimes a bottle nosed dolphin is just a bottle nosed dolphin. Sometimes it's a big gray dildo fish.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

What are the odds Trump chose Vance because his initials are Trump's backwards?

[-] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

But his initials aren’t trumps backwards..?

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Letters are hard.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

DJ vs JD. Just first and middle, no last.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I'm pretty sure it's so he can play it off when he says Pence instead of Vance

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[-] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Shady Vance just keeps getting shadier.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

cOuCh fUcKeR

[-] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Is he sabotaging Trump on purpose? Is JD Vance running the best psy-op in human history?

Almost certainly not, but the conjecture fits the data shockingly well.

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this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
409 points (98.3% liked)

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