Moses : The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...

[drops one of the tablets]

Moses : Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey

Louisiana: basic literacy is not their strong suit.

I mean originally there were 15.

I read that as commandlets and now I'm worried Powershell has given me brain damage...

1. if ((Get-God).Count -gt 1){Set-God -Identity "YHWH"}
2. Get-Idol | Remove-Idol
3. foreach($godsname in ((Get-God).Name){ if (($speech -like "$godsname") -and ($speech.vain)) {$speech = ""}}
4. Set-Reminder -Start (Get-Date "06/29/2024") -Reoccurance 7 -Subject "Holy"
5. Set-Person -Relation "Mother" -Honor $true; Set-Person -Relation "Father" -Honor $true;
6. $murder = $false
7. $adultry = $false
8. $stealing = $false
9. if ((Get-Truth $speech) -eq $false){$speech = ""}
10. $NoCovet=(Get-Property -SearchDepth 2) + (Get-Person -Relation "Neighbor")

I very quickly checked wikipedia, because I couldn't easily identify the extra one. It lists all 16 of the 10 commandments... The table looks like different branches of christianity bundle some of them together (mostly various coveting) or don't even consider the first and last a commandment, so they always only count to ten. So it's an easy mistake to make.

But the fact that they couldn't even count the paragraphs is riddiculous.

The text of the Ten Commandments ... shall be printed in a large, easily readable font.

Comic Sans it is.

They broke the 10th commandment into two commandments. There should have been a semicolon after 10a, not a new line.

(10a) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house.

(10b) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his cattle, nor anything that is thy neighbor's."

How the fuck is this not illegal?

11. Thou shalt not math.

PS: this is what happens when the commitee watches Spinal Tap too many times.

I mean aren't numbers invented by Arabics anyway? What's the point at ending with 9 and 10 when they could go full 9 and 11? /s

there's a base n joke somewhere in there

Home many of these commandments their lord messiah Trump violates on hourly basis?

I wonder if the poster they have to put up will show a picture of Jesus. Evangelicals sure do love those graven images.

What do you mean "Thall shalt not horn in on thy husband's racket" isn't a commandment?

I believe the last two listed ('Thou shalt not covet...') are considered to be the same commandment, although they appear as two separate verses in the Bible.

For those who do not know, in Exodus, Moses gets pissed off, smashes the tablets people today call the Ten Commandments, goes back up the mountain and Yaweh has him carve new ones with different laws on them. Those laws are the only laws called "Ten Commandments" in the Bible.

They include:

Three times a year all your men are to appear before the Sovereign Lord, the God of Israel. [Good luck with that]

Do not offer the blood of a sacrifice to me along with anything containing yeast

“Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk.

As the end of the chapter says:

Moses was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights without eating bread or drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the words of the covenant—the Ten Commandments.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2034&version=NIV

The Bible cannot be more clear on this point, but it's always ignored.