Back in the late 1970s friend and I decided to hitchhike through Europe - we were living in London. We got zero rides from Calais and ended up catching a train to Paris, arriving at nearly midnight. The hotels near the station were too expensive, and we were sitting in the gutter looking at a map when a young man asked if he could help.

He said he knew where there were cheaper hotels, and offered to walk us there. He was charming, funny and warm, and we had a great conversation as we walked. After a mile or so he said, well this is crazy, why don't you come and stay at my place? My mother won't mind.

He took us to a grand Paris apartment, like from a film. His mother was already in bed, but she called out instructions for putting fresh sheets on the sofas. Hearing that we hadn't eaten all day, he took us out for a meal at a couscous restaurant nearby (it was after 1am by now). He explained that he had to leave early in the morning because he taught at a school for special needs children outside the city, but that his mother would give us breakfast.

And that is what happened - she was charming and warm, and acted as if it was perfectly normal to feed two random foreigners her son had brought home in the middle of the night.

I've loved Paris ever since.

What's funny is that (according to the old testament) when Moses came down off the mountain with the tablets and found everyone worshipping the golden calf, he had a big hissy fit and smashed them. So then after doing quite a bit of murdering he had to go back up the mountain to get a second set. Exodus 32-34

I asked a religious relative how it was ok for Moses to murder people when he had only just be told by God himself "thou shalt not kill", and she said it was because the don't kill thing came further down the list than having only the one god.

Hah! In Scotland we dip pizza in batter and deep fry it. With a deep-fried Mars bar for afters.

https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/glasgow-news/five-glaswegian-chip-shop-delicacies-11462402

"I was layin' out there for two damn hours before anyone came to check on me! Heat stroke, it turns out. Just as well it wasn't a stroke stroke, I'd be dead."

Struwwelpeter. We had an English copy handed down by my grandfather. It's insane.

Example: "Die gar traurige Geschichte mit dem Feuerzeug ("The Very Sad Tale with the Matches"): A girl plays with matches, accidentally ignites herself and burns to death. Only her cats mourn her."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struwwelpeter

Is this the first Nobel laureate to run a country? How bloody amazing. Well done Mexico!

"You can love the company as much as you like, but the company will never love you back." - My dad.

I set out tonight to make a delicious chicken paprika kind of stewish thing I've done before. As is my usual habit I took the jar of paprika from the cupboard and sprinkled a generous amount in the pan. Tasted after half an hour and fuck me, it was HOT.

It was cayenne pepper, not paprika.

My stomach actually hurts a bit.

A long-dead cat for your pleasure. She arrived on my doorstep a starving kitten; after extensive travel in New Zealand she went to live in Canada, where she apparently lived to a ripe old age.

I actually knew someone who died of that parrot disease. Psittacosis? He caught it off a budgie.

Here it is: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psittacosis

My dog was a big tall greyhound, and one time he was humped by another dog - a tiny Yorkshire terrier. It was clinging to his hock (ankle) and banging away for dear life, while my dog ignored it. Its owner and I were both laughing too hard to do anything about it, it was a ludicrous sight.

Sorry not to be more helpful.

Ha ha, yes, they are such entitled hedonists these days, not like the Borgias for example...