this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 95 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Can I claim my "babies" as dependents on my taxes, hypothetically?

[–] [email protected] 84 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yes, however, if you or your partner menstruates, it's manslaughter.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Is it only the eggs that count as babies or sperm as well?
If they do then I may be one of the biggest mass murderers in history

[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I think the ruling covers embryos, so a fertilized egg.

Either on their own are zygotes, so don't count as citizens or whatever the fuck is going on in Alabama.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

A zygote is a fertilized egg from fertilization until it splits enough. The egg and sperm cells are gametes.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I haven’t done much killing in the last 10 years or so, but when I was a teenager I slaughtered millions multiple times a day and stuffed them into small sacks and buried them in the trash. My drive to kill has slowed down significantly.

My mom thought the washing machine was eating those little sacks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Fertilized eggs, in any stage of development or form.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

I don't know, there's a lot of competition out there if you're right. You've got around 4 billion competitors.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

If you can find a way to oppress women with the rebate, you'll have their support.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 8 months ago

Up next: Alabama now arguing they should have 4,000 electoral votes.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago (5 children)

So most eggs are unfertilized embryos, which in mammals is what happens during menstruation. That said, it's not even a stretch at this point to think that conservatives might start saying that menstruation is immoral or whatever for this same reason.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 34 points 8 months ago (2 children)

The GOP would never agree to the parallel because the brown ones cost more.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Nah. Most conservatives I know are in support of the for profit prison system. They need eggs of all colors to grow up poor, uneducated and limited choice but to commit crimes.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They probably only cost more because that money goes to Big Egg while they get minimum yolk.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

The brown ones cost more to raise due to their inherent behavior and lack of rooster figure.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago (1 children)

i hate my state so fucking much

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"Behold, a chicken!"

--Diogenes, probably.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

“Get out of my fucking barrel you filthy pleb” - Diogenes

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (9 children)

What I don’t understand is; do all girls/women receive child payments from birth to ~60

If they have a period are they liable for murder?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I guess I'll go eat some scrambled children (by Alabama's definition)

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