this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 52 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Bringing my industrial sized container of foundation into the jungle

[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"sup, bitches! Today we're gonna do a tutorial on how to apply your contouring to pop even with drab dungeon lighting."

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

Vicious in Dungeon† kelly

†:latest-fad:

[–] [email protected] 34 points 8 months ago

a grown ass man, painstakingly applying makeup to the face of a character from an children’s game, to own the libs

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago

I physically cannot play video games without an erection.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This looks just like the previous design to me

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

which they also complained about.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

If Tomb Raider Underworld was released right now there'd be talking heads bitching about Lara in that too.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They kept the impractical outfit and she's still conventionally attractive and it's still not good enough for them.

Why try to please gamers?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

the impractical outfit

doesn't she do a bunch of rock climbing and gymnastics?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I just meant if I was in the jungle, I wouldn't want a tick on my leg or whatever.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

the trouble with coming up with appropriate dress for her is that she's doing several tasks that have conflicting needs.

really she should wear those cargo pants that unzip at the knee and switch when she needs to parkour

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Lara Croft is a simplistic video game character from the 90s intended to be a) cool and b) hot. Considering the practicality of her classic costume is like asking why Duke Nukem only ever wears jeans and a tanktop despite his primary occupation being getting into gunfights with aliens

I think it's just easy to run into tonal issues when you try to add depth to such a 1-dimensional character

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

sure, but i'm a star trek fan and it's a reflex

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Supposedly straight men who have very complex opinions on what makeup fictional women should wear

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Some [women] have tried to become semi-men by putting on the Bloomer dress. Let me tell you in a word why it can never be done. It is this: woman, robed and folded in her long dress, is beautiful. She walks gracefully.... If she attempts to run, the charm is gone.... Take off the robes, and put on pants, and show the libs, and grace and mystery are all gone. Even Venus never tried to run. Et vera incessu patuit Dea. So long as she is thus clothed, there is just enough of mystery about woman to challenge admiration, and almost reverence.

excerpt from Women's Rights, by Reverend John Todd (1867)

the very old and storied cry of Women have to dress and behave different or else I might notice they're not particularly different from men, and that makes me very uncomfortable for reasons. Legitimate reasons!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

dammit, that should have bin "limbs"

i typed the first half by hand, copying it out of People's History of the United States then found the rest of the passage online

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Oh lol

I respect the dedication, it's a very funny excerpt

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago

pretty sure she has makeup on in the first pic, but it just AINT ENOUGH

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

im shocked they didnt make her boobs bigger too

[–] [email protected] 26 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Retrvn to triangle.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

She's glaring at the camera while brandishing a weapon. That's what this guy has a problem with -- he'd rather she have a, a what? A neutral expression? An attempt at seduction? Sultry? Is 'sultry' the only expression allowed on the face of a female character? Some reverse angry-eyes-american-kirby bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I mean, if you really wanted this to feel more like classic 90s Lara Croft you'd give her the red sunglasses and have her smirk at the camera instead of this AI yassification filter shit. These cumbrained morons are completely focused on the awooga aspect but they forget that old Lara was also a cartoonishly over the top badass in the vein of Duke Nukem or Serious Sam crossed with James Bond

I would honestly enjoy it if they leaned more into that inherent silliness of her character instead of trying to turn her into a sympathetic gritty action hero who wants to make her dad proud or whatever because Lara Croft has to also be a role model. Her series is called TOMB RAIDER, she's a rich asshole that loots priceless treasures

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

also the slaughter of endangered animals with reckless abandon. Laura is like an epicurean who doesn't bother with the meal.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

lara croft is an outdoor cat struggle session go

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

She does have compunction about killing people. She gets over it at the end of the first game.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Lara Croft sees a Tyrannosaurus Rex that somehow survived to modern day and the only thing she thinks of is how cool its head would look mounted above her fireplace

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

as long as she keeps that breathy english accent i can make fun of i don't give a shit what she looks like

WE'VE GOT TO FIND THE TREASURE, JONAH!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

Considering how dirty and sweaty the rest of her body/clothes looks its interesting that he thinks her make up would still look that nice. But suspension of disbelief or whatevershrug-outta-hecks

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

A girl should never leave home without her Covid-19 rated transparent plastic face shield.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Epoxy-based setting spray

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

I’ve never found the overly airbrushed Instagram look to be attractive.

Is this even a big complaint with gamers? Seems like it’s only coming out of twitter accounts that get a few hundred likes for dumb shit like this while the original tweet has almost 4k likes

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

It's a good thing Adam Forest didn't have blue hair on top of that. He would've had no way of recovering if Harry did the "blue hair and pronouns" ultra-combo roast on him.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Is the joke that he didn't change anything?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Nah, they added some makeup for her, looks kinda weird, like a character from 'Desperate Housewive' TV show

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

i can literally hardly tell the difference between the two images, I had to lean in really close and squint really hard

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

The upper version has a personality and some sass, maybe that is what they have a problem with?

As a woman that has played these games from game one while being uncomfortable with the Lara hype I love the new look. It was kind of depressing finally having a fun adventure game with a woman lead to identify with (my autistic self prefers playing characters I can more easily relate to) and it immediately becoming so sexualized.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

She's already so pretty wtf do gamers want?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

This is exactly the same bit the chuds did when Horizon Forbidden West came out. Get new material, twitter.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Get that Lara a jewel toned button up and a glass of arak!