this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
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FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole

We had a cappuccino machine, I thought my wife kept cleaning the crispy dried milk off the steamer spout, she thought I was doing it. A year later, after coffee every morning, we found out the cat was licking it off when we were at work.

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[–] [email protected] 224 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

JUST WIPE IT OFF WITH A DAMP CLOTH YOU FUCKING HEATHENS ITS NOT THAT HARD

Edit for context: I am a barista. All you have to do is have a damp cloth on hand when you finish steaming the milk to wipe down the wand. Takes maybe 30sec total, including finding and dampening the cloth before you start.

[–] [email protected] 121 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Got to contribute to the rent somehow

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 9 months ago (1 children)

TEXT HARDER SO THEY CAN READ YOU

[–] [email protected] 53 points 9 months ago (1 children)

IM TEXTING AS HARD AS I CAN

[–] [email protected] 64 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

I wish the heatens could read

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You remind me of my ex wife.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Naaah. The wife will do it.

[–] [email protected] 132 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If you're not wiping it off immediately after usage, you don't deserve to have an espresso machine.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)

"had" a cappuccino machine.

The consequences caught up with them. The universe righted itself.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It's now the cat's espresso machine.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

This thing is probably nasty af if they are treating it like that.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Years ago at work we had a office type coffee machine with the filter carrier you pull out and dump.

The water flow to the filter got slower and slower until it was taking forever to make a pot. I finally broke down and took it apart to clean the calcium deposits out of it.

Turned out there was a dead cockroach blocking the hole from the reservoir to the filter.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Cockroaches are notorious coffee problems. A study found that many people who drank instant and pre ground coffee were allergic to coffee actually were allergic to the cockroaches ground up in it.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Yup. I've seen this. Sticking to my guns on this one, mainly because I always assumed it was various bugs. It's just a given that bugs are in our food and people's allergies to bug poop is very common.

As a government biologist, i was kind of surprised that snoops was mainly concerned about finding evidence that specifically cockroaches exist in the for No we wouldn't identify that. No one would cus we wouldn't really look into what exact bug or foreign matter exists, we just care that it stays at low levels. A large part of violations we identify have to come from self reporting too.

It's not like it's a big deal anyway. There are bugs in our food, it happens.That's just life lol.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago

This needs to be screencapped and submitted to this community as its own post.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

Why did you do this to me

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[–] [email protected] 48 points 9 months ago (32 children)

So where is the problem here?

[–] [email protected] 70 points 9 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 65 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Weird name for a cat but ok.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago

Like they don't already have it

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Dont think that transfers via saliva, and the cat likely isnt using it as a buttplug

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

No problem. Self cleaning. Best.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Cat was probably thinking: "Damn those humans, I have to do all the cleaning myself"

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago

Cat was probably thinking "LÏck"

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I think if you have a cat, there's just a point where you accept that you'll be ingesting the odd hair or dribble or microscopic bits of poop.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (10 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Yes, of course be cautious, especially if pregnant. But an indoor cat, even if infected when adopted, won't be contagious after 2 weeks and won't have a way to get reinfected. Outdoor, strays, and unknown cats are obviously not inherently safe.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Every unaccompanied cup shall be drank from.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (2 children)

"Mmm, have you noticed our espressos now have an interesting nutty accent flavor?"

Yeah, that would be the addition of 'cat anus by proxy'.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Wouldn't be the first ass I've eaten, and it certainly won't be the last

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (3 children)

TIL there are people who don't wipe the wand immediately while the milk is wet and wait for it to crust over.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

For those in the Fediverse interested, Fesshole has an official Mastodon presence now.

https://mastodon.social/@fesshole

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