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Ultimately I think any conversation that boils down to who is or isn't LGBT+ is a bit reductive. It's not like every person in that broad grouping is completely valid as they are - there's lots of abusive and dangerous queer people, just like any other group. It's not like we endorse every LGBT+ person's behavior uncritically, nor are we asking for anyone else to do so.

That's kinda why I prefer "queer" as a broad label. It's less about whether what you are fits into the acronym and is therefore valid. If someone identifies as queer, the question becomes - how so? And if someone spews some obviously abusive nonsense in response, we don't have to support them, but if they experience attraction to people they know they can't safely engage with (and don't), my thinking would turn empathetic pretty quickly.