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Red and Black Rule (pawb.social)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

I have worded my definition of my sexuality badly, you are right. What I am trying to say is that I am not straight if I am not exclusively attracted to "the opposite" gender. If I am also attracted to my own gender, and ones outside the spectrum, I can't be hetero.

I'm just sick of bi erasure in queer communities, being belittled by being called "half gay, half straight". Or even "oh you're just a cishet who wants to fit into queer spaces".
No. I am bi. Not half this, half that, not pretending. Maybe pan if one wants to follow strict definitions.

I genuinely did not know about people who define themselves as non-binary men or women, could you help me understand? That breaks all I've learned from the admittedly few enby people I know, whose entire goal was not being binary.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

I'm just sick of bi erasure in queer communities, being belittled by being called "half gay, half straight". Or even "oh you're just a cishet who wants to fit into queer spaces".
No. I am bi. Not half this, half that, not pretending.

im sorry you had to experience that and i agree with you there.

bisexuality is its own thing and should be understood as such, not written off as a combination of two other sexualities and nothing more (and even so, claiming that ppl in queer spaces are just "pretending" is ofc incredibly harmful to everyone).

having said that, bisexuality is often (imo incorrectly) defined as being attracted to men and women. which excludes nonbinary ppl, even tho many bisexuals are also attracted to ppl outside of the binary genders.

so i think in this context, its comforting for me to think of the bi- in bisexual as meaning homo- & heterosexual (nb inclusive), rather than men & women attraction.

however as i said, this should not be used to understand bisexuality beyond just a surface-level and should never be used to discriminate or make judgements on someones "queerness".

I genuinely did not know about people who define themselves as non-binary men or women, could you help me understand?

so theres many different nonbinary genders ofc (its a spectrum so technically.. infinite?).

i identify as a demi-girl, which is someone who identifies as a woman, but not strongly enough to be considered fully on the binary side of it. perhaps it helps to visualize it on a spectrum with binary men on one side and binary women on the other. demigenders would be sort of, half-way between the center and one of the ends. making them non-binary but also perhaps more of one binary gender than the other.

hope this helps as just an idea. please keep in mind tho that this ofc doesnt fit for everyone who identifies as demigender, its just my understanding of it for myself.