this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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The dad still said happy birthday and I love you only to get that text back. Older folks are exposed to a lot of propaganda and many are brainwashed (the hint in this case is the "God bless you"). Without more context I'm hesitant to call him an asshole.
Based on this small exchange I'd be more inclined to say they are both assholes.
It's just sad that they can't look past this and love each other regardless.
Sad that dad can't toss away his transphobia and accept his daughter.
Daughter's behavior is completely justifiable tho. If I was in her place, I would not look past bigotry and basic lack of respect to me
How much exposure do you have to these bible people though? I mean the dad was taught that even being gay sends you to hell. Probably never finished grade 9.
I'm from a small conservative town and it's hard to fault the brainwashed people either IMO. A lot of them are good people who have been severely manipulated.
I'm from Russia. I've seen more than enough conservatives. And more than enough brainwashing (though more in a context of a war)
In the end, I think, this is not really relevant. Transphobic parent, ultimately, hurts more than helps (even if they do it out of love for you), and people who do you more damage than help should be cut off
Oh, well I guess they win then. Deep down they're probably good people, so we just ignore their bigotry and allow it to proliferate further and continue to make the rest of the world a worse place for people I care about.
Fuck that. I cut out my family for being bigots. I told them specifically why and I refuse to take their phone calls. You have to let people know that those beliefs are wrong and let them know that there are social consequences for continuing to believe them. America didn't pass the Civil Rights Act by waiting until people just came around and agreed with them. They said "This is wrong, and now illegal." and made them deal with the consequences (Kinda. It's still America and still pretty racist so..)
Point is, change doesn't happen by ignoring shitty behavior. This kind of behavior needs to be confronted and shut down every time. EVERY TIME.
To add, MLK thought passing the civil rights act was a mistake after it was passed. It didn't go far enough, and it passing pretty much ensured nothing else would be done in addition. Sometimes something that looks good on the surface is actually damaging. Just because this person's father suger coated their bigotry (in this particular message at least) doesn't solve the problem that they're a bigot and making their daughters quality of life worse.
The dad wasn't actually wishing a happy birthday. The dad was using his daughter's birthday as an occasion to be transphobic.
That's actually the abuse showing through. It's intentional passive aggression and a manipulative speech pattern. It's meant to imply, "God bless you, even though you're breaking his rules and making him sad and probably going to hell".
And before you ask, I was raised evangelical, was deeply involved in ministry, went to bible school, and even worked at a church for a few years; I know how these people think because I was one until I saw the light and ditched their religion. The number of times I've seen "I'll pray for you/them", "God bless you/them", and such used as insults is too damn high.
Oh... Bless your heart...