this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I've noticed one difference between me and other people is my willingness to put my teeth on a fucker. Other people are like "no that's gross." MF if I think my life is at stake I'm latching onto whichever artery or windpipe is closest and whipping my head back and forth like a terrier trying to break a rat's spine. I'd put my mouth on a rapist's dick just for the feeling of ripping it free with my teeth and hearing them squeal. I don't even care what they do to me after; the knowledge that I've turned their sadistic pleasure into pure pain and terror is enough to send my soul to nirvana on its own.

Anyway this is the real reason I've never been mugged as yet. That's the real secret. When you're walking on the street the predators aren't looking for someone weaker than them, they're looking for someone less insane than them. If they can glance at you and just know that fucking with you will likely involve losing at least one testicle? They'll leave you alone.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Can't decide if serious or copypasta, but username checks out, kinda

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Found the ostrich.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I've managed to avoid getting mugged with two secret techniques: I'm large, noisy, and unpleasant, and I'm broke.