this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2024
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I wouldn't be too hard on him. I was a weird kid who grew up into a weird adult. I ended up doing lots of tests as a kid with him or researchers just like him. I did the test where you're told to electrocute a person if they answer a question wrong and they pretend to scream. And the test where they use a wire to knock over water bottles. I gave weird responses to those tests as well. I just started pressing the button for the electrocution and laughing. I apologized after. And when the water bottles got knocked over I just sat there and waited for him to come back. It occurred to me that I might get in trouble, but then I figured he would just take my word on it. I was like, "Your structure fell over!". These tests make for fun stories.
edit: With the electrocution test I definitely tried to reason with the researcher that electrocuting people wasn't scientific, but I very quickly realized he wasn't going to listen to me. I realized it was an opportunity to electrocute a person and that I was never getting another opportunity to do that ever, so I just went for it. Egg on my face when it turns out it's both not real and I'm a awful person. I did feel bad though.
... do your parents happen to own any sort of lair? Does your dad's fashion sense involve insulated gloves and welding goggles? Because this is starting to sound like a therapy session for someone supervillain-adjacent.
'Grade school, am I right? The beep test, the Milgram experiment, pop quizzes, that prison thing, haha. I'm sure everyone gets those stress dreams where you haven't studied for your Voight-Kampf test.'
No, the elementary school I went to had this program called Learning Lab for K-3 grade. I didn't even tell my parents what was going on at the time because I assumed they just somehow knew everything that happened at school without me telling them.
Was your principle named Scudworth?
No, at the time the principle was a woman. She was one of the those career administrators who raises kids tests scores by any means necessary and then takes a better job in a larger town with a bigger school. The principle before that was a teacher who took the job because no one else wanted it.
I'm not sure who was in charge of Learning Lab. They mostly helped kids who needed to improve their academic performance, including myself. They used the same space as the researchers, I don't know how it was organized or where the researchers were from. Just that the pool of kids who were pulled out of class for Learning Lab was the same pool who interacted with any researchers. I don't know how many kids had the same experience as me. At least one, probably more.
edit: There was someone who was like a teacher, who was in charge in of the kids, and instruction. I'm not sure who that person reported to or who came up with the program. They were not my regular teacher for any given grade.