196

I don't know if forgiving is the same thing as no longer dwelling on the feeling. Forgiveness to me means that I'll take no additional negative action towards them if given the opportunity.

It's actually pretty easy for me to forgive. All they need to do is admit wrongdoing and convince me they have no motivation to do it again. I'll even show kindness towards someone I haven't forgiven if I think it will prevent them from causing future harm.

I'm not a hateful person, but I've learned that some people cannot be won over with kindness alone. Those that bully the weak will require strength to oppose. As long as they feel like they're above you in the hierarchy, love alone won't work. Only when they feel on equal footing to you will they cooperate and listen.

I can let go of hate without forgiving. I've learned how to move on because I don't forgive. Not forgiving gives me security in future interactions, as I work towards being able to forgive. I've needed to master my emotions for other reasons, so I know my approach wouldn't be possible for most people.