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Non-reactive would probably be the right word. Personally, I didn't mind that part.

That said, I think Morrowind is the best Elder Scrolls game, which has zero reactivity. I don't just think the game is better, I think the combat is better. It's made easier with Bethesda never having made good combat, but the way Morrowind handles it relies more on character skill rather than player skill, which I think is better. As a fairly good player at most shooters, Fallout player skill gives me too much power, and it allows me to ignore combat skills on the character because I can make up for it. It's bad RPG design.

The gunplay was clunky when it came out. FO3/NV very much had an “Oblivion with guns” feel to them.

I’ve always primarily used VATS. Unarmed or melee focused builds can also be viable, but the early game is rough.

As for mods, I would recommend a modlist. “Viva New Vegas” is one I’ve played with, currently doing a “Begin Again” playthrough - the latter adds a lot of the nicer features from Fallout 4 and includes Tale of Two Wastelands which combines FO3/NV into a single game, you can travel between each wasteland and bring all your stuff with you.

Ultimately, these games aren’t really an FPS so the shooting will always feel a bit off. The story / dialogue / environmental storytelling are really where it’s at!

No mod will stop the game from feeling like shit but you should look into "Viva New Vegas" which is a complete modding guide that makes it smoother and improves a lot of things without veering too much away from the original experience.

The DLCs are good, with Old World Blues being the best one. I have never completed the original New Vegas campaign though. Maybe give the DLC a go?

I find modding won't help if you don't like the core game. I fell into that trap once and have like 100 hours in Skyrim, I don't like Skyrim.

i had this problem the first couple times i tried playing it. and i also didnt really like the visual tint the game had going. but eventually i think i just got to be like a frog in boiled water where i didnt really mind the visual effects and gun play stuff anymore. i also think the hbomberguy video was helpful in motivating me to commit more to giving the game a proper chance, but idk it might've just been that i played it at the right time.

but at the end of the day, it's fine if the game isn't for you. i think it's a fun game and all, but it does have some short comings and (visually) it hasn't aged that well. and who knows, maybe the game will resonate more if you try it again at a different stage of your life.

It's hard to get invested in the story or world with weapons and movement that lifeless

Bro it's literally something we all missed in Fallout 4, items durability.

Are there any must-have mods that improve the gameplay that I'm just totally out of the loop on?

Most important thing is the FalloutNV patcher. It fix most of issues with the game.