Ho_Chi_Chungus

also funny in retrospect is how easy it was to finally get rid of the "why does it feel like it's literally impossible to look in the mirror and feel attractive?" feelings that i've had for as long as I can remember because all I did was:

1. put on $5 bralette
2. toss flannel on over it without closing it (literally one of the flannels i've always worn everyday for fuck knows how many years)
3. mentally apply the girl curves filter

and I was asking "Uhm, Hel-lo Ma'am??? 😳 before i even got to step 3. by that point i had to sit down what the fuck what do you mean it was this easy????

what do you mean what's my "type"? my ideal type of woman is the type of woman that is a woman i genuinely don't understand the question

I know emotions are hard, no worries and sorry if I caused any stress

Oh no, no. It's good to look over old emotions now that I can say that they're trans ones. they all make a lot more sense now, even if they are really painful to feel

why does having to look for housing be so goddamn hard. i have a job i have money please take the money and give me a roof over my head why the fuck do i need to prove lines of credit and talk to my last landlords i never had a landlord before. 100 years ago i would have been considered a grown ass adult at half my age what the fuck

depends on context, the alignment of the planets, and the judgment of the local augur

basically everyone who knew me personally knew that i was super repressed all the time. i honestly felt that way too but i still felt weird trying to express anything in a cis way. it's funny looking back on it though, i actually had multiple experiences where someone did find me attractive, but my self hatred was so hard that i literally couldn't internalize it so i shoved it away and then wondered why i was so damn single all the time.

emotions are hard, okay?

I'm not entirely convinced that the egg-thing can't be attractive as well, tbh.

idk, my visible egginess absolutely REPELLED people to the point where I literally, not figuratively, can't believe people when they say they had romantic/sexual experience before their egg cracking. Like, it's not that I think they're lying, I just find it so out of line with my own experience that I just can't accept it as true

i don't think i look remotely femme, especially not at work, but i was such a visible egg that another queer person once clocked me as an egg after meeting me like once or twice. This was about 9 months before even I realized I was an egg

I mean ideally probably don't move in with strangers, but that's not viable for everyone I suppose

Only other queer people I know are full up on roommates or live an hour away, I'm terminally single, and I don't make quite enough money to go for a studio by myself. If I had that luxury I would have done so months ago, but I live in a very queer friendly area (For the US, anyway), so I'm not too worried

What's Lex, by the way?

does anyone have any good resources on trying to look for housing as a trans person? like, i feel like i should put up a craigslist posting saying something like "pre everything trans femme looking for queer roommates" or something but idk what i should/shouldn't do or what to look out for

hi one dm please if you don't mind

DIY contraption assembled in garage