this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 hours ago

You best believe I won’t be telling you any secrets anytime soon

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Did you also post this on Reddit or just take it from /r/kitchenConfidential ?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 hours ago

Next time try just one big bean

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 hours ago

This is a distressing image

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

I cannot fathom why you would have so many beans in the office. And queso cheese???

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know why but something tells me I can't trusty this person.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Why won't u let me cup ur beans 🤲 🥺

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

It's easy to fix. Connect another keyboard and use it to install Linux.

That's the main problem taken care of. As for the beans, IDK, maybe bring a couple of chickens into the office while the installer is copying files?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 hours ago

Sudo root delete beans

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago

At least the safe did it's job

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

What would you need 2 vaults for?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

The top one is a drop vault you can see the little door, employees can deposit it without needing a code. Managers have access to this one to reconcile all the days deposits for the end of the night close.

The bottom one is long storage usually only the gm/owner has that code. The previous days cash is verified then moved into that one for holding until a bank run or money truck pickup can be arranged.

Standard restaurant set up.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 hours ago

One for each of the bowls if beans

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

In case you want to use it more than once.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

How do I delete someone else's post?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

One day ill learn not to scroll during work hours

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

I think I've cracked the case, guise!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

We are in for a week of bean memes

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

They never stopped if your instance is federated with hexbear. People block/defed because they don't like the politics but they don't realize they are missing the hot bean action

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

Yeah. I block authoritarians on sight because fuck that shit. So hexbear was gone within a month of joining lemmy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)
[–] [email protected] 87 points 14 hours ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

Glad you came ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

Me too, glad I wasn't disappointed

[–] [email protected] 72 points 14 hours ago (9 children)

I always see this scene and get so sad for him. That's a lot of food that he put a lot of work into and was proud of his work. Watching him try to shovel it back into the pot hurts. I know it's meant to be played off for humor, but I see next to none in that scene.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago

I have a friend who I suspect has never raised animals, tell me about the "funniest moment on broadcast tv" in excruciating detail. It was the episode of WKRP when they threw turkeys out of a helicopter and instead of flying, they dropped to their deaths. Apparently, that's really funny.

He also recounted an episode of Night Court when a couple got in trouble accidentally killing a bunch of baby chickens in a propane explosion.

If I didn't already, I would have sworn off sitcoms from that.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 14 hours ago

That’s because you have empathy and Kevin is generally a wholesome character.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (4 children)

Do yourself a favor and never watch Seinfeld.

If you take away the laugh track, it is astoundingly clear that the main cast are all just evil, narcissistic sociopaths, they never do anything that doesn't benefit themselves, and they have no problem at all ruining other people's days or even lives, their metric for whether or not something was a good idea or not is entirely whether it worked out well for them...

... ironically with the exception of Kramer, who actually attempts, from time to time, to do good things for other people which will not benefit himself, he just goes about them in often dubious ways.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

Always Sunny just leaned into this, and made you fully aware that the main characters are sociopaths. They literally show the progress of how they ruined the lives of the people around them. That’s why I love that show. It’s a perfect example of everything not to do in life if you want to be happy and fulfilled.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

The real sad part is the lack of leg room under the desk. I can't imagine sitting all cramped all day.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 hours ago

What is the office doing in the kitchen?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

FYI: Feeding your computer the beans isn't how you get your bean posts on Lemmy.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 hours ago

This has not bean your best day

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago

Bean-master level unlocked!

[–] [email protected] 54 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

You've already spilled the beans, so tell us some juicy gossip.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 13 hours ago (10 children)

The works of the roots of the vines, of the trees, must be destroyed to keep up the price, and this is the saddest, bitterest thing of all. Carloads of oranges dumped on the ground. The people came for miles to take the fruit, but this could not be. How would they buy oranges at twenty cents a dozen if they could drive out and pick them up? And men with hoses squirt kerosene on the oranges, and they are angry at the crime, angry at the people who have come to take the fruit. A million people hungry, needing the fruit- and kerosene sprayed over the golden mountains. And the smell of rot fills the country. Burn coffee for fuel in the ships. Burn corn to keep warm, it makes a hot fire. Dump potatoes in the rivers and place guards along the banks to keep the hungry people from fishing them out. Slaughter the pigs and bury them, and let the putrescence drip down into the earth.

There is a crime here that goes beyond denunciation. There is a sorrow here that weeping cannot symbolize. There is a failure here that topples all our success. The fertile earth, the straight tree rows, the sturdy trunks, and the ripe fruit. And children dying of pellagra must die because a profit cannot be taken from an orange. And coroners must fill in the certificate- died of malnutrition- because the food must rot, must be forced to rot. The people come with nets to fish for potatoes in the river, and the guards hold them back; they come in rattling cars to get the dumped oranges, but the kerosene is sprayed. And they stand still and watch the potatoes float by, listen to the screaming pigs being killed in a ditch and covered with quick-lime, watch the mountains of oranges slop down to a putrefying ooze; and in the eyes of the people there is the failure; and in the eyes of the hungry there is a growing wrath. In the souls of the people the grapes of wrath are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

I read an interesting editorial or letter or whatever by the guy who had the idea to fortify cornmeal with niacin and pretty much overnight eradicated pellagra in the southern United States. He was humble about it, it was just a lesson in how the simplest interventions can have a huge effect.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 13 hours ago

Its looks and probably feels bad… but to be honest, this is a solvable. The main thing lost is the keyboard, and they are not terrible to replace. And your dignity may need some time , but with a little work this will all have bean in the past.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

I see a chic fila box. Don't worry about getting fired, you will get a better job

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