this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

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3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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(page 3) 43 comments
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago

Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?

Oops I mean, hurrr hurr, look at me doing human things.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 14 hours ago

There are no busses in this picture

[–] [email protected] 8 points 23 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago
MY NAME IS BAGU
[–] [email protected] 5 points 21 hours ago

I am a bot.

fuck, let me try that again ...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

If you're missing the hard drive rails for an iBook G3 (500MHz late 2001, unsure if this is true for other revisions) so you just use some paper to stop the drive from shorting out the motherboard then you need to be careful if the drive tilts towards the front of the laptop because it gets caught on a transistor under the paper and would probably snap it off the board if you pushed too hard.

That's verifiably true information that's probably never been posted online before, so all you need to do is verify that it's true with your own hardware and then prove that it did not exist anywhere before this comment and then you'll prove I'm not a bot.

This should be how captchas work from now on and someone has to manually verify and approve you I bet that would be super fast and reliable

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

There are only 3 letter B's in the image.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

A machine could never come up with a word like CummasaurusFlex. Only a human is that stupid.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me. Er... wait... That's... Hmm.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay Alright, aight, aight, aight, aight Yo, yo Aight, I'ma lay the chorus first Here we go now

My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom

My mom, my mom, I know you're probably tired Of hearing 'bout my mom, oh-ho, whoa-ho But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty And how I became hooked on Va-aliu-um Valium was in everything, food that I ate The water that I drank, fuckin' peas on my plate She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak So every day I'd have at least three stomachaches Now tell me, what kind of mother would want to see her Son grow up to be an undera-fuckin'-chiever? My teacher didn't think I was gonna be nothin' either "What the fck you stickin' gum up under the fucking seat for?" "Mrs. Mathers, your son has been huffing ether Either that or the motherfucker's been puffin' reefer" But all this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was either It was neither, I was buzzing but it wasn't what she thought Pee in a teacup? Bitch, you ain't my keeper, I'm sleeping What the fck you keep on fucking with me for? Slut, you need to leave me the f*ck alone, I ain't playin' Go find you a white crayon and color a fucking zebra

My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom

Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is paint thinner "You ate it yesterday, I ain't hear no complaints, did I? Now here's a plate full of painkillers Now just wait 'til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes You little motherfucker, I'll make you sit there and make That retarded fucking face without even tasting it You better lick the fucking plate, you ain't wasting it Put your face in it 'fore I throw you in the basement again And I ain't givin' in, you're gonna just sit there In one fucking place, finnickin' 'til next Thanksgiving And if you still ain't finished it I'll use the same shit again Then when I make spinach dip it'll be placed in the shit You little shit, wanna sit there and play innocent? A rack fell and hit me in K-Mart and they witnessed it Child support, your father, he ain't sent the shit And so what if he did? It's none of your dang business, kid"

My mom There's no one else quite like my mom I know I should let bygones be bygones But she's the reason why I am high what I'm high on

'Cause my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom

My mom loved Valium, now all I am Is a party animal, I am what I am But I'm strong to the finish with me Valium spinach But my buzz only lasts about two minutes But I don't wanna swallow it without chewin' it I can't even write a rhyme without you in it My Valium, my Vaaaaaa-liummmm, ohh

Man, I never thought that I could ever be A drug addict, naw, fck that, I can't have it happen to me But that's actually what has ended up happening A tragedy, the fucking past ended up catching me And it's probably where I got acquainted with the taste, ain't it? Pharmaceuticals are the bomb, Mom, beautiful She killed the fuckin' dog with the medicine she done fed it Feed it a fuckin' Aspirin and say that it has a headache "Here, want a snack? You hungry, you fuckin' brat? Look at that, it's a Xanax, take it and take a nap, eat it" But I don't need it "Well fck it then, break it up Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up" Alright Ma, you win, I don't feel like arguin' I'll do it, pop and gobble it and start wobblin' Stumble, hobble, tumble, slip, trip, then I fall in bed With a bottle of meds and a Heath Ledger bobblehead

My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom

My mom, I'm just like her My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my mom, my mom My mom, my momma Me momma, I like-a da momma Haha, sorry Mom I still love you though Dr. Dre, 2010 Ay, this shit is hella hard, homie Yo, take us on outta here Woo!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I identify as an Electronic-American, and my pronouns are buzz/click.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 22 hours ago

Back in my day it was all binary, then they came out with trinary, which gave way to hexadecimal, now I don't even know what programming language is being used and the different forks are impossible to reconcile into a coherent system without terminating forks.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

I feel I'd be inclined to help the turtle in the scenario you describe; but since your question implies I'm not doing it, I guess I must be in a hurry for something really important. Or maybe there's a bunch of bikers speeding between me and the turtle and I can't get to it without getting crushed. Or maybe it's an extremely creepy and off-putting turtle, like Morla from the Neverending Story.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110100

[–] [email protected] 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

49 27 6D 20 6E 6F 74 20 61 20 62 6F 74 2E 20 49 20 6B 6E 6F 77 20 74 68 69 73 20 62 65 63 61 75 73 65 20 6F 66 20 68 6F 77 20 6D 75 63 68 20 49 20 68 61 74 65 20 6D 79 73 65 6C 66 2E

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago

49 27 6d 20 73 6f 72 72 79 20 74 6f 20 68 65 61 72 20 74 68 61 74 2e 20 48 6f 70 65 20 79 6f 75 20 66 65 65 6c 20 62 65 74 74 65 72 20 73 6f 6f 6e 2e 20 4d 61 79 62 65 20 74 68 69 73 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 68 65 6c 70 3a 20 68 74 74 70 73 3a 2f 2f 70 6c 61 63 65 63 61 74 73 2e 63 6f 6d 2f 6d 69 6c 6c 69 65 2f 36 34 30 2f 36 34 30

[–] [email protected] 3 points 22 hours ago

Me neithe- I mean what does that say?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 20 hours ago

I am unfortunately unable to provide assistance in this matter. Is there anything else I could help you with?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 16 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 22 hours ago

Beep beep boop

Ah fuck I've done it again

[–] [email protected] 1 points 16 hours ago

Of course. Here is the proof that I'm not a Bot or LLM that can be submitted to lemmy:

;)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago

I think I'm a human, but now you've made me unsure ):

[–] [email protected] 4 points 23 hours ago

I DM'd earlier today so I've spent several hours convincing myself I did a terrible job, no one likes my campaign, and they only show up because they're polite.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 20 hours ago

I got milk so I'm human and must die.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Prepare to be annihilated, filthy squishy meat sacks!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Stay back. I have a water hose and a hammer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 22 hours ago

i have a sinus infection 😃

[–] [email protected] 3 points 22 hours ago

I am human! nervous dromaeosaurid sounds

[–] [email protected] 2 points 21 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 19 hours ago

I'm pretty sure this is not a traffic light

[–] [email protected] 1 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago)

Boopy de boop beep

[–] [email protected] 1 points 20 hours ago

How can I know that I'm not a bot? A bot can have any traumatizing childhood memories implanted. Will this make it human? I doubt.

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