How to minimise number of roads, i guess?
this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2025
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Terrible Estate Agent Photos
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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.
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the property (weird layout, questionable plumbing, unsound structure, etc.)
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the interior (carpeted bathrooms, awful taste interiors, weird mannequins/taxidermies/art, inflatable pools indoors, etc.)
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You could build a literal infinity pool…
Honey, I'm just going outside to mow the lawn. I'll see you in two weeks.
You can very clearly pinpoint the moment where myself and most anyone younger than me lost all hope of ever owning a home. What the fuck.
Fucking Christ.
OP discovers river lots. Lots like this are an old design, that allowed everyone access to the river while giving you a decent amount of land. They are very common in Ontario, and such.
They are also a fucking nightmare if you're doing any sort of survey in the area, that requires land access because for a given area, you now have to negotiate with 350 land owners instead of like 30.
This seems a bit egregious for a lot, it's just over 50 ft wide and nearly a mile and half long. It looks more like a developer made the "lot" to develop the rest of the nearby homes then managed to get a house built on it.
I get it, but there's a logic to it being so long if you think about it: flooding. You want river access without risking your house getting washed away. As I said, it's an old lot layout method - like from the mid 1800s or earlier, with ties to how things were laid out in France originally.
Also, 'great for hunting' in the ad. Lmao.
It could actually be good for hunting. Most states only require the animal be shot on your property, so that narrow strip could be good if animals move across it regularly.
I know, but it's insanity to fire a weapon on a strip ft wide imo. Bow hunting, I guess.
Speaking of, I was out surveying a bunch of river lots like this. The ones I was in were a bit wider - maybe like 200 m x 1200 m kind of thing. They often have cross country ski trails though them, which is a godsend if you're used to crashing though the understory or regenerating bullshit.
The other thing that was interesting to me was how much human activity these parcels (and the area I was in) had. Old barbed wire growing though trees, junk cars. Toilet seats. Maple syrup operations, murder shacks, you name it. Mindboggling to a guy used to not seeing more than UTV tracks from other crews, or cutlines in terms of disturbance.
Anyway, I was winding my way through one of these river lots and I came across a small wooden box, a bunch of apples, and this pink rock that did not match the regional geology at all. I walked about 10 steps before my inner nerd took over and I went over to look at the rock.
I am holding this thing, turning it over in my hand and I'm like 'WTF. this thing looks like a stupid pink healing salt lamp thing you see at a massage clinic.' I keep turning it over and look at the bottom of the rock. It's totally flat. It's definitely some healing crystals bullshit but why the fuck is it here? This is the most random thing ever.
I set it down. Grab my gear, get ready to stand up. And boom.
Trail cam on a stick. Face level to me kneeling.
The reality that this is a salt lick and bait station for deer comes crashing home like a ton of bricks. And I'm on camera like an idiot. Guess the station works.
The guy must have laughed his ass off when he collected the camera and reviewed it:
dude walks into frame. Dude walks out of frame. Dude re-enters frame. Dude kneels down fucks with salt lick, with visible confusion on face. Dude looks at camera and realizes he's a moron
Fuck me.
Holy shit OP, you're underselling it with that pic.
I'm pretty creative at thinking on land use, no idea what to do with NINE linear acres.
Well, it's Louisiana, plenty easy to grow shit. Fence and forest it, hunk a bunch of chickens and rabbits out there? Sprinkle in a couple of tiny ponds? Setup a poker shack out in the woodsy area? The mind boggles.
"Honey? Can you grab some peppers out the garden?"
"Aw hell Mabel, those sonsofbitches are a half-mile deep and we ain't got 4-wheeler gas."
EDIT: Can't stop looking at this. 7680', 1.5 miles long and 58' wide. You would have to have a 4-wheeler to get any work done out there.
3.7 hectare and 2.4km long while less than 18m wide. That is insane. But it got sold.
You would have to have a 4-wheeler to get any work done out there.
You are missing the perfect opportunity for a small guage miniature train line. Just big enough that you can sit on it and drag a few supplies the length of the back yard.
That sounds amazing. Now I want the house...
I want to know how this even got platted.
I think the other commenter comparing this to the Quebec/French system of land division has it right. From satellite view, you can see the distinct shape of narrow strip lots perpendicular to the flow of the Bayou Lafourche. In the distant past, waterway access then was the equivalent of truck access from the Interstate freeways today: paramount for getting goods to market.
That's what I'm screaming! There must be some weird history behind all this. I'm sure it was a wider lot in the past, but who split it lengthwise? And by 52'?!
Siblings who all wanted road access on a property divided by inheritance.
My siblings and I are trying to avoid a similar situation.
Shit, I'd gladly take one without road access.
A very long lap pool. Then use the building work to disguise the construction of your underground lair. If you can't build up or sideways, then build down.
Pave that badboy
Just the place for my linear particle accelerator
Great place for a good golfer to practice. Terrible place for a bad golfer to practice though
"How's it working out?"
"Not sure, no one has ever made it to the end to check yet."
"Where's the other end?"
"In space somewhere."
“Everything the sun touches, far beyond the horizon, is my domain. As long as you don’t drift more than 20 meters left or right.”
Ah yes, my vegetable plot lots in Manor Lords!
Louisiana? I’m guessing that before the Louisiana Purchase, they had similar non-primogeniture-based inheritance laws to Quebec, resulting in properties being divided into ever-thinner strips with each generation.
I'd put the house farther back, at least give the illusions of having land around me.
If it was in the right area, great for a shooting range after some earth moving.
Setting up a target and loosing arrows at obscene ranges accurately is fun though.
Here I'm a gun nut and a range never occurred to me. Impossible given the neighborhood layout. :( Even archery would be sketchy unless you kept in close in.
That property is like 45ft by 1.5 miles, with a half mile of that past the occupied structures to the East and wilderness downrange.
You're right, I was suffering tunnel vision (heh), thinking of shooting from the house. You could make that safe by placing the range, uh, downrange. Throw a fat berm in there, good to go.